Mar 10, 2009

Tawakal

Dah lama jugak ye since my last posting. A lot of things have happened since then. Banyak sesangat, sampai my emotion has being going topsy turvy, churning away like the windmill. But the most important, is that my mum has now taken a turn for the worse. Late last week, she fell from the bed while trying to get up from the bed by herself to go to the bathroom. I don't know how it happened but according to my third sis who was looking after her at that time, she heard a loud bang from the bedroom, and when she ran into the room, she saw mum lying on the floor, at that time mum was still able to speak, but.... now, she's bedridden and could hardly speak. her breathing is also erractic.

Today mum is warded and the doctor said that her kidneys have failed her, and due to this her blood is infected, and the doctor is putting her on a 24 hours observation. The doctor said even though the infection could be cleared up but he doesn't give us a 100% guarantee that all will be well and she will be out of the woods. The doctor also told us to prepare ourselves and not to leave her alone. Banyak bacakan surah yasin untuk mak, itu pesanan doktor untuk kami adik beradik.

Just now, during lunch hour I rushed to UMSC to see mum, my third sister and her husband plus my two younger bothers were also there. I feel so helpless not knowing what to do to ease my mum's pain. Am I a cruel daughter to doa pada Allah to take her to his side so that mum would not be in so much pain, since the doctor also cannot guarantee mum's full recovery. Ya Allah teruk ke aku ini sebagai seorang anak, hingga sanggup berfikir sebegitu. I feel so bad....

Right now as I'm writing this, my eldest and second sister, as is my cousin and his wife are all on their way to UMSC. My emotion is still going on a merry-go-round and to make it worse I just had a tiff with my younger brother just before leaving the hospital.....and that makes me feel so down! A truly trying time for the whole family and that I have no doubt of, as my brother said the other day, Allah sedang menguji kami semua dari segi kesabaran dan ketawakalan (I not too sure whether there is such a word in BM, tapi what the hack, guna aje lah, I'm murdering the language and I know it would not sit too well with purist of the BM language) dalam menghadapi semua ini. Kekuatan ikatan kekeluargaan kami jugak sedang diuji sekarang. Hopefully it will stand the test!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Be patient sis! Hope for the best, prepare for the worst!