Winter Escapade

Followed my third sister and family to UK for a holiday cum my niece's graduation. Enjoyed the holiday and experience, even though the temperature was at sub-zero degrees most of the time.

The temperature on our journey to Manchester to visit Old Trafford.

The Family outside Old Trafford's parking lot before going to the stadium and eventually to the gift shop. My nephew is a diehard fan of Manchester United and thus, the visit to Old Trafford was pencilled in. We thought we might need to cancel the trip since the weather was especially bad the day before we were supposed to go to Old Trafford. But, Alhamdullilah, it was quite safe to travel to Manchester the next day, even though the temperature was - 7 degrees celcius. It was quite an experience for me, jakun katakan tak pernah main snow and dapat pegang snow for the first tme.

The real reason why we braved the icy cold weather to be in the UK before Christmas. But when we planned to go there we didn't expect the weather to be so cold. But, regardless of the weather, everything was worth it to see my niece walked up the stage to accept her Master's scroll. her happy smile on that day really lighted up the room for me and gave me a warm glow, but mind you outside the hall, the temperature was -9 degrees celcius at that time. Congratulation to you my dearest niece. I wish all the best to you, as you embark on your new career in Brunei Darussalam and may Allah protect you always. As testimony of how cold it was on that day, you should see the picture below, even the fountain was frozen, and the water resembles a crystal vase, if you don't mind me saying so....

Don't you agree? It does look like a crystal vase....

Roller Coaster Ride

It has been a roller coaster ride for me this week, emotion wise - with running here and there to make sure that everything run smoothly for the "Speech Drafting Workshop". It wouldn't be such a roller coaster ride if the people who are supposed to be helping with the logistics part have not gone missing for hours for the two days that the workshop was running.

On top of that I have the DiD class to teach.... that's another thing I have to think of, notwithstanding the classes that I have teach in Wisma starting next week. I'm so worried that I will not be able to get all the materials ready for all the classes. Now I'm just so tired, mentally and physically, and it doesn't help to have people jumping on you for the slightest wrong in the planning, even though it's none of my fault..... orang lain buat aku yang kena salvonya... mana tahan macam ni....

Come to think of it, if I can bomb a few people, I would have done it with much pleasure two days back, sadist tak my thinking.... a friend of mine commented that I'm full of anger and hatred this past few weeks, and he asked me to chill out sikit and enjoy life. I think I'm going to take his advice... nanti kena hypertension pulak... no way would I want that... sakit nanti susah, sapa nak tolong and I also would not like to to be a burden to others.... Insya Allah...

I'm hoping with all my heart that next week will not be another roller coaster ride. So, I better get cracking on the materials for the Wisma classes.

Geram

Hai la apa lah orang ni, dulu cakap lain, sekarang cakap lain . Letih la aku dengan orang ni... pelik betul aku dengan orang ni, if dia yang tak ikut procedure tak pe, bila aku... panjang la leter dia, nak kata aku tak ikut procedure PUN, ye ke aku tak ikut procedure..... aku tak akan buat cara tu if aku tak dapat kan green light dari dia juga... hish geramnya aku....

Yang dia tu kadang melangkau batas tak pe.... bila aku dah salah la pulak, aku rasa aku tak de melangkau sapa2 pun....e-mail dihantar serentak, salah aku ke yang tu dulu respond pada e-mail aku..... hish susah betul la dengan dia ni..... kadang2 benda yang dia sendiri tak rasa confident nak buat, dengan senang hatinya dia lumpkan aku sama2 dengan rasa tak confident dia tu..... he tolong la ..... aku bukan kau la weh ... apa kau ingat kau tu ada more experience than aku, so kiranya aku ni bodoh la sangat and tak boleh buat apa yang kau tak boleh buat .... tolong la sikit jangan pandang rendah sangat kat aku ni..... GERAM GERAM GERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM .. bila orang ni merajuk, satu dunia tahu, canang sana sini mintak orang duk belah pihak dia... pelik bin ajaib betul aku dengan orang

BERAPA LAMA LAGI AKU HARUS TERUS BERSABAR NIH.................

Reflections

Come to think of it, plus minus and subtract here and there... actually i don't quite like long courses. I prefer the short courses more... he he he he and I don't have any specific reasons as to why I don't like long courses. But if I'm the one attending the long course, that's another story all together. The bottomline is I just hate, erm maybe not hate, too harsh there, more like just plain dislike long courses... period.

A Meaningful Day

27.10.2010 - after so long, today I meet a dear friend from my childhood days, the last we met were when we were both in primary school. After primary 6, we parted ways when she was chosen to enter MRSM, while I was selected to continue my secondary education in Kota Baru. Then her family moved from our little hometown and we sort of lost touch, even though I do get news of her from time to time through mutual friends but we never see each other face to face until today.

I knew that she was given a scholarship to continue her studies in the States after form 5, her marriage to somebody from Kuwait not long after, the demise of her mother a few years after her marriage, and how she decided to be a parmenant residents of The United States. But through the years, I have thought of her from time to time, wondering how her life is in the States, is she happy there and a multitude of other questions. Thanks to facebook, we are able to re-connect and re-new our friendship, after a number of e-mails between us, and through facebook, I got to know that she's back in town. So we set-up a meeting today at Wangsa Walk in Wangsa Maju and had a good time yakking and catching up on each others' news. She's now seriously into painting and she showed me some of what she had painted...beautiful pieces it was, and she told me that she is seriously considering have an exhibition of her paintings. I wish her all the best in her venture.

I hope this friendship will continue to flourish. Ninnie, you have not change at all, the years have been kind to you and all the best to you..muaaaaaaaaaaaaah. InsyaAllah, this Saturday we have set-up another meeting at another venue, together with a few of our other primary school friends. I'm looking forward to meeting Mek Nor, Nab, Fozie, Ana and the others.

InsyaAllah I will post the photos taken at the renunion this Saturday.... if I remember to bring the camera with me ....\\(^ 0 ^)//

PTK (^ o ^) PTK

After spending sleepless nights worrying about the darn PTK, lo and behold one day before I was to sit for the PTK, our dear PM announced in the 2011 Budget, come June next year PTK will be abolished and a new format of assessment will be carried out for the civil service. And that would be another story, hope the assessment that is going to be implemented will be better than PTK. Keeping my fingers cross here, hahahahahaha

But, anyway I went for the PTK as scheduled, and the talk that was going around before I entered the exam hall was that since we are the last batch to take the PTK, everyone was hoping that everyone will be awarded 4, 4 - hah fat chance of that happening... Whatever it is, just have to wait and see....and play the waiting game..

Debaran

Debaran makin terasa, one more day to go, hope I can do it, and do it well..... Ya Allah tolong la hamba Mu ini...

Dup Dab Dup Dab berdebar-debar jantung ku mikirkan Saturday ni....huwaaaa tak nak anything bad berlaku...

Kursus, PTK

Second day of kursus, so far Alhamdullilah everything is running smoothly... Hopefully things will go smoothly till the end of this week. Tak mau lagi macam semalam, penat mental jadinya.... nasib class in the afternoon went without a hitch....if tak, erm kena la face the music....

Saturday ni lagi satu battle that I need to face...hopefully yang ini pun boleh ku hadapi dengan jayanya....hope to see a better outcome this time around.... trying to stay positive here, walaupun usaha kearah itu tak la sebanyak mana sangat....

Kerja pun dah mula menimbun, 2010 ni banyak pulak kerja kena settlekan hujung-hujung tahun ni, tak macam last year, relax sikit, walaupun ada juga class yang kena handle, tapi kali ni rasanya bertindan- tindan pulak kerja yang datang...but whatever it is, I'm looking forward to December...hope it will be a good month for me.

Tension lagi.........

Tension lagi sebab takut teramat sangat dengan kursus "Effective Writing" yang akan berjalan selama seminggu starting esok. And minggu ni jugak la kena handle kursus untuk bahagian lain. Jadual bertindan pulak tu...fenin memikirkannya. Macam tak bersedia aja untuk kursus ini, terlalu banyak masa dihabiskan untuk buat benda lain. Banyak lagi handout untuk kursus ni tak buat....tension, tension, tension.

I am so unprepared for this course. I hope everything will go smoothly until the end of the week. Ya Allah aku mohon pada Mu, biar la kursus ini berjalan dengan lancar. Aku malas nak dengar suara-suara sumbang berbunyi. Aku malas nak dengar orang tu membebel kata objektif kursus ini tidak tercapai, kursus not well planned dan sebagainya.... Malas weh nak dengar tu... and every time tak kira untuk kursus mana... channel radio akan berada di stesen yang sama, mainkan lagu yang sama....kadang-kadang bengang jugak aku mendengarnya....mana tidaknya, orang lain yan buat tak kena kat mata dia, aku jugak yang kena bebel....penat weh asyik nak kena pikul silap orang lain...kadang-kadang tu rasa life is so unfair...bila SKT nanti, markah orang tu tinggi and me? Rendah! Why? Sebab di mata dia, aku ni jenis tak pandai buat kerja, tak pandai mengajar, tak sesuai untuk ngajar PTD, aku bukan lecturer macam orang yang seangkatan dengan dia...aku cikgu cabuk aje...tapi masa perlu kan orang nak buat anything technical, aku jugak lah yang dicari, masa tu lembut gigi dari lidah....sabar aje lah, Allah tu maha adil....

Apa pun hopefully everything will go smoothly for the duration of the course.

Syawal

Read an article in one of the daillies a few days back, the writer wrote something about the concept of openhouses that is so prevalent in our society today. In the article, the writer's compared to how Aidil Fitri or Aidil Adha for the matter was celebrated in the days of yores. The writer said, back then the concept of an openhouse would mean guests are welcomed to drop in at anytime, to celebrate the festival with the host family without any prior invitation. Nowadays, according to the writer, the trend is to have a special day for the celebration, where the host will send invitation to all and an extensive spread (depending on the budget of the host) will be waiting for the guests to enjoy. And this one day can fall on any day for the whole month of Syawal.

I personally have experienced both types of celebrations, and to be franked, I prefer the old style of celebrating Aidil Fitri, where all are welcomed, regardless, the sense of camaraderies between family and friends are deeply felt, but I do understand that the rigour of today's world, necessited the need to assigned a special day to invite friends and relatives to celebrate Aidil Fitri together with the host. I don't know, maybe it's just me and not others, but I feel that the warmth and closes in the relationship is somewhat diluted when Aidil Fitri is celebrated in this manner.

I have heard stories of where the host family go all out in the preparation for the openhouse and invitations send to more than 50 people, with some even agreeing to attend the openhouse. Sadly to say, only one person attended, how would you feel if you are the host for that openhouse? You have slogged so hard to make sure that there're enough food for everyone, spend time agonising about the menu, but come the big day, only one person turned up to celebrate Aidil Fitri with you. It made feel me so sad when I heard this story, thinking of the wastage of food, money and time for the host. The sadness she/he must had felt, thinking that in the pegging order of her/his friends, she/he is at the bottom of the list. The excuse is always there that there's too many invitations to fulfill....so excuses are given at the last minutes, even though a promise has been given. I have been taught that once a promise is given, you must fulfill the promise...on the other hand, promises nowadays seems of no value, a worthless commodity in the fast-paced world of today. Some of you reading this, may think that I'm old-fashioned, but I do acknowledged that when it comes to promises, I'm very old fashioned in that sense...that's why I'll try to fulfill any promises I made to attend any openhouse invitation extended to me, even though I'm filled to the gills. I'll try to make it to the openhouses, and probably stayed to chit-chat or just to sample some of the food prepared. I think by doing this, I would gladden the heart of the host, while strengthening our relationship.

I've rambled long enough about openhouses, and today is the last day for the month of Syawal, I still have one last openhouse to attend. I'll be there, I know for a fact that the food will be delicious as one little bird whispered in my ear, as the food for this one particular openhouse is catered from a top-notch caterer, so for now I've to keep some parts of the tank empty in anticipation of the food....hahahahaha.

Lastly, in twenty years time, I wonder how Aidil Fitri/Aidil Adha will be celebrated, will the concept of openhouses withstand time, or will it change as the world become more individualistic? Only time will tell, and for now I'll try insyaAllah, to attend all the openhouses invitation extended to me.. and in the near future, before I go to meet my Maker... :)

Merdeka Day is just around the corner, and Eid Mubarak will be with us soon. Today is the 19th day of Ramadhan, and so far, this fasting month is not the same as the fasting months of yores, is it because I'm getting old, or because deep down I don't feel happy and full of regrets about what I have done with my life. So many regrets, and this Ramadhan, makes me think deep and hard about life in general and of the wrongs that I have done...

I wish I could undo what have been done, and wipe the slate clean, but I know it is something impossible to do. All that I can do is pray to Allah to have mercy on me and He would pardon me for the wrongs that I have done with my life. This is also the second Ramadhan without my mother around, sometimes on certain days during this Ramadhan, I caught myself thinking of her and thinking of how dissapointed she is in this daughter of hers... I pray that she is at peace at the place where she is now, and may Allah be merciful to her too.

And the bottomline is, I do miss my mother, missed her barks and her acceptance of me even though some of my behaviour must have hurt her feelings more than I know. Al-fatihah to you Che..

Alhamdullilah

I feel so relief....now I'm no longer officially the secretary to the my office Welfare Club. A burden off my shoulder. Now if only I could let go of the other one then my life would be much, much happier... but, that's another story....I know one day that will also go away and I hope it will happen soon.... I feel that I'm not contributing much to success of the project and I'm letting a lot of people down....

Hari yang fenin.....so many things happened today...some unexpected....and now I'm all screwed-up because of it....... How I wish with all my heart that the old crowd are all still here.... I miss them, I miss the camaderie, team spirit and the love for the place.. where have it all gone to...


I REALLY MISS THEM.... THEY ARE ALL GONE, ONLY A HANDFUL LEFT........

I wonder what will happen to this place in the years to come.......and whether I'll still be here to see more changes and upheaval happening to this place..... When I look back to the day we move in and to the joy of occupying this place and the feeling of camaderie and team spirit that was still so much alive and strong, it sadden me so much to see how things are now....... Heemmmmmm

Tension ,tension, tension....wei tak tau nak buat apa untuk class besok..... Wah parah ni macam ni....
Kepala buntu.... tak de idea..... tension.... tension

Pictorial

Adam 2 Months old

Just Plain Tired

I just don't get it....I'm always tired, and so easily these days... erm is age catching up with me....hei hei heii..... mungkin kut...I'm not as young as I used to be, I admit that, but would love it, if I don't get tired so easily... letih, letih, tired, tired.....bawak kete pun boleh ngantuk... apa-kah....takut dibuatnya..... what if I come a cropper nanti

World Cup, Class and HRMIS

This week I'm so tired, what with the World Cup, class and HRMIS.... I feel deadbeat, wish I could just sleep the day away, and don't have to go to class for the rest of the day... I'm sure I'll be driving home like a zombie at the end of the day.... Oh no, I clean forgot that I have to attend a dinner do tonight.....don't feel like going but a promise is a promise and I hate to break a promise. Moreover, the host put so much effort in preparing for the dinner tonight and I don't think it's nice of me to back-out of the arrangement at the last hour.....seems like I have to shoulder on... regardless of how tired I feel right now.

Tomorrow will be another long day......erm will try to sleep early tonight to face another long and hectic day tomorrow, and I know for a fact that come tomorrow evening traffic will be as usual, bumper to bumper, with everyone rushing to go somewhere for the weekend....

A Short Visit

Visiting the blog after a long hiatus just to play around with the new templates. Hope whoever visits my blog will not find it an eye sore compared to the old one.

The craze now is the World Cup, and I'm also caught the fever.... and is hoping against hope that either South Korea or Japan would progress in the tournament....would love to see a team from Asia either in the quarter final, semi-final or in the final even.....

MUHAMMAD ADAM ZHAFRAN

Hemmmmm just a short posting here after such a long while. Just to share the good news, thanks to my nephew, the son of my eldest sister, I am now officially a grandmother. Muhammad Adam Zhafran was born on 7 February 2010. Wish I could post Adam's (that's what the family decided to address the baby by the way) photo here...but all his photos are on my mobile, and I don't really know how to transfer photos from the mobile to the blog just yet.....still a bit kuno about this part, hahahahahahahahahaha.

I don't know how Adam will fill the forms when the time comes for him to so with such a long name. Gone was the days when names where so short, just one word. Nowadays the trends seem to be for a baby to have more than one word attached to their names. And that is just the baby's name, not including the father's name. In the case of my lil' grandson... his father has two names, so if you attached Adam's name to his father, quite a long name it'll be...to be exact five words altogether, quite long to write in a form. Well that's the world today.....

2010

The first month of the new year is almost gone, the year had start with a bang but is not as busy as when 2009 started. Looking back 2009 was quite a traumatic year for me, and as the end of January 2010 approaches, I wonder what this year would hold for me, more upheavels in my life....hemmmmm I don't know about that, but what I do know is that, Allah knows what is best for me. If Allah deems fit that I have to go through life as how I'm now, then I have to terimanya dengan redha....all I asked is that I'll be strong to face anything that is thrown to me in journey to meet my maker.....Amin.

Now I'm so not in sync with myself and I hate feeling this way.......sometimes I wonder why am I such a screw-up person....... and am I such a bad person to think....wouldn't the world be a better place if i was never born..... I seems to be hurting so many people's feeling....

2010

Lama dah tak jengok rumah ni, dah bersawang and berabuk everywhere, sorry la tuan rumah ni pemalas sikit bila time kerja berlambak nak kena siapkan.

Anyway SELAMAT MENYAMBUT 2010 to everyone....... HAPPY NEW YEAR
and may the new year bring happiness and joy to each and everyone of you.........................
Moga 2010 akan menjadi tahun yang cemerlang untuk semua.

I wish all the best to everyone, regardless of their race, religion and beliefs.................