Slow Day

Fuh! *Sigh* I'm so tired and sleepy today! I feel so the malas to do any of my work. This attitude could get me into deep shit if I don't shake myself out of this feeling of lethargy. Half of the day was spend running around trying to unblock my mobile. CELCOM barred my mobile just because I was late by one day in paying the bill. CELCOM, CELCOM, why r you so dilligent this time around? Why o Why? Had to run to PJ to settle the bill and by the time I finished and get back to the office I was so hungry (penangan tak sarapan sebelum pegi settlekan the bill) hu hu hu hu....

Went to the main office and persuade everyone there, including my boss kih kih kih to have a late breakfast. Had my fill, then realised that it's was time to go with Dato' to Pusat Kraftangan in Jalan Conlay. Rushed to get my things and went to the lobby to wait for Dato', lucky I was able to make it in the nick of time.....if tak feel the wrath le nampaknya...huhuhuhu.

Hem... looking and studying my blog, it looks so unattractive compared to some I've seen, my blog is so full of writing, orang masuk singgah kat sini pun mesti boring..... Ye lah no photos or nice graphics to attract the eyes and senses..... Dull kan! When I've the time nanti I will try to pretty up the blog but for now, sorry to those who visited the blog to see nothing but miles and miles of writing ^:)^

Okay time to get back to work.......before somebody comes knocking on the door and sees me doing nothing hahahahahaha........

A Week Later

It has been a week since Mak passed away, I could still see her face clearly now and felt the coldness of her cheeks when I kissed her for the last time. Dad is now slowly getting use to the idea that she is now gone. On the day Mak was buried, Dad spend the whole day in a daze and he cried himself to sleep that night. He used to have a good appetite but now, this past week, he just ate in small amounts and not the portion that he usually take. Another change I noticed, is that Dad now refused to eat alone, he wants company around the table, someone to eat with him. Apa-apa pun sebagai anak kita semua cuba penuhi pemintaan dia yang ini. Now my sister makes sure that there is someone who will sit and eat with Dad at the table.

To Reenaz my new cyber friend, salam to you and when I click on the link to go to your blog, it directed me to some other place. I wonder whether the address is typed wrongly or there's another technical problem to it. Anyway, if you are reading this entry, I would love it if you could supply me with the correct address. The other day I just went into your blog to say hello and salam pengenalan, tak sempat pun nak copy the recipes on the page, especially the pudding, it looks so yummy delicious. Ingat this weekend if I'm in a rajin mood I try buat the pudding. (I do love to spoil the BM language, selalu sangat guna bahasa rojak). I think if any purist of the BM language is to read this blog, he or she would be fuming mad at me for spoiling the language. Anyway Reenaz, glad to know you and if I can get the address right, could I link you?

First day at work after the three days compassionate leave, and wow so many things to take care of, so tired now!!!!! Have to keep my cool on certain things........InsyaAllah bolehnya....

Bereavement

DEATH IN THE FAMILY! On 10th March 2009, my Mum drew her last breath right after azan untuk solat isyak habis berkumandang. At her bedside pada masa tu, was my youngest brother, his wife, my eldest niece and her husband and two of my nephews, they were all reading the yasin at that time while Amir, Ninie's husband and my youngest brother took turns to ajar my Mum mengucap. She breath her last right after my brother Fir finished mengajar dia mengucap and Jie, Fir's wife told me that she could see my Mum's mouth moving in unison with Fir as dia mengucap.

Yesterday was the funeral, she is laid to rest at Tanah Perkuburan Sg Tangkas, near UKM. I didn't go to the cemetary yesterday, I just could not make myself go there, I looked at Mum for the last time before she was taken to the cemetary, she look so peaceful, muka Mak begitu bersih dan tenang. Alhamdullilah pemergiannya begitu mudah and aku redha dengan pemergiannya. Moga Allah akan mencucuri rahmat dan menempatkan Mak di antara orang-orang yang soleh....Amin.

Now our worries are with Dad, how he is going to cope with Mak not being here, by his side like before. The whole of yesterday, he spend the day termenung and before he went to sleep semalam, he cried and kept saying, next it will be him going to be laid to rest near Mum. Kami semua takut that he will go into depression and will go away in his sleep......Takut yang Dad akan will himself to death.

Tawakal

Dah lama jugak ye since my last posting. A lot of things have happened since then. Banyak sesangat, sampai my emotion has being going topsy turvy, churning away like the windmill. But the most important, is that my mum has now taken a turn for the worse. Late last week, she fell from the bed while trying to get up from the bed by herself to go to the bathroom. I don't know how it happened but according to my third sis who was looking after her at that time, she heard a loud bang from the bedroom, and when she ran into the room, she saw mum lying on the floor, at that time mum was still able to speak, but.... now, she's bedridden and could hardly speak. her breathing is also erractic.

Today mum is warded and the doctor said that her kidneys have failed her, and due to this her blood is infected, and the doctor is putting her on a 24 hours observation. The doctor said even though the infection could be cleared up but he doesn't give us a 100% guarantee that all will be well and she will be out of the woods. The doctor also told us to prepare ourselves and not to leave her alone. Banyak bacakan surah yasin untuk mak, itu pesanan doktor untuk kami adik beradik.

Just now, during lunch hour I rushed to UMSC to see mum, my third sister and her husband plus my two younger bothers were also there. I feel so helpless not knowing what to do to ease my mum's pain. Am I a cruel daughter to doa pada Allah to take her to his side so that mum would not be in so much pain, since the doctor also cannot guarantee mum's full recovery. Ya Allah teruk ke aku ini sebagai seorang anak, hingga sanggup berfikir sebegitu. I feel so bad....

Right now as I'm writing this, my eldest and second sister, as is my cousin and his wife are all on their way to UMSC. My emotion is still going on a merry-go-round and to make it worse I just had a tiff with my younger brother just before leaving the hospital.....and that makes me feel so down! A truly trying time for the whole family and that I have no doubt of, as my brother said the other day, Allah sedang menguji kami semua dari segi kesabaran dan ketawakalan (I not too sure whether there is such a word in BM, tapi what the hack, guna aje lah, I'm murdering the language and I know it would not sit too well with purist of the BM language) dalam menghadapi semua ini. Kekuatan ikatan kekeluargaan kami jugak sedang diuji sekarang. Hopefully it will stand the test!

Hurrah!!!!!

A big, big smile on my face now.... Why? Boss is now back in town, hahahahaha lalalalalala, I'm practically doing an invisible dance now, hohoho, if people could see it, then they would know how happy I'm that she's now back in town! I'm sooooooooo happpy, tak terkata betapa happynya diri ini. Lalalalalala tak payah lagi attend meetings on her behalf, ada la masa to buat keje lain yang perlu dibuat.

I don't have to cover for her now, she's now here to make sure that everyone has to toe the line, work wise I mean. Cos I know for a fact that when she was away, I tried to keep things in balance and that, I could bet, do not sit too well with some people..... They do not say it directly to my face, but...... I do get the vibes sent out by them. Well, that's life, you can't please everyone.

Myza, sawang - sawang kat sini, baru hari ni dapat bersihkan, before this tak sempat, kena siapkan budget la, KPI la and attend meetings memanjang, tapi now that boss is back boleh la kut kerap sikit singgah kat sini hei hei hei...... Now pun, boss is attending the budget meeting for 2010/2011 yang I planned for practically single-handedly, but I'm not whinning about doing it, cos when I showed it to my boss, the first day she came in, she was happy with it and did only minor adjustments to the budget before asking me to submit it to the Finance Unit. Anyway I see it as another learning curve in my life, maybe beneficial to me in the long run, who knows!

KPI/Budget

Huh bosan, a tiring day for me and a long week to boot, non-stop meeting the past few days. Tomorrow I have another meeting to attend, taskforce for the Bridges Series, scheduled for April 22, about a month to work on the planning of the event. Knowing Dato', and I can bet that the taskforce will be put through the grinder, just to make sure that everything runs smoothly on the day of the event. Well! that's another music I'll have to face when the time comes.

As for now I am kept pretty busy with the drafting of the division's Budget for 2010 and 2011, plus the KPI for my division. I am done with the 2008 and 2009 KPIs but Dato wants to fine tune it lagi, so back to the drawing board la nampaknya. And I hate using Excel, the table is never friendly to me. Geram betul, never want to follow my command. I wonder how others managed to do it and come-up with nice print out of the reports on Excel, while mine will either be lop-sided or too small and the print will be finer still, even though I've tried all the suggestion given to me on how to make the print-out bigger and more pleasing to the eyes.

Huh! Penat giler....tapi penat-penat pun kena jugak buat nanti singa jumps on my back, tak ke haru nanti.... tak pasal luka hu hu hu hu