SItuSANAsiNi

2011-02-25T17:21:00.001+08:00

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS with all the work that're piling up on my table..................

Don't know mana satu nak buat duluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, semua bantai urgent............... haish............. mana satu nak buat niiiiiiii!!!!!!!

Rambling

2011-01-20T11:24:00.004+08:00

Not a good start to the new year.....just got the schedule for 2011, and it will keep me busy for the whole year. Bad on my part but God send for some people I know, those who seems to enjoy work so much.....hantu kerja kata kan.... cuti-cuti pun still masuk office to work....

As for me...... I'm dreaming or should I say berangan to go off on another holiday, Korea or America maybe....hahahahahahahaha dream on, what with what are needed to be done for the year, I don't know yet whether I can go for another long extended holiday... but there's no harm in dreaming kan..... *________*

Happy New Year

2011-01-05T12:11:00.002+08:00

A belated Happy New Year wish to everyone - in cyber-space or not.... I know today is already the fifth day of the new year. Being too busy with work and recuperating from my sojourn to UK, the body is not as it used to be, taking a longer time to recover from jet-lag and so forth..

It doesn't help much that I immediately go back to work the day after the long flight from UK... back to the office and to work piling on the table and all with deadlines pencilled at 31 December 2010.

Anyway here's the wish for everyone..... "HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY 2011 BRINGS MORE JOY AND PROSPERITY TO ALL OF YOU"... since today is also the birthday of my second sister... this wish also goes out to her, with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SIS.." malu nak cakap to her face so tulis aje lah kat sini he he he he :)

Winter Escapade

2010-12-27T17:04:00.019+08:00

Followed my third sister and family to UK for a holiday cum my niece's graduation. Enjoyed the holiday and experience, even though the temperature was at sub-zero degrees most of the time.

The temperature on our journey to Manchester to visit Old Trafford.

The Family outside Old Trafford's parking lot before going to the stadium and eventually to the gift shop. My nephew is a diehard fan of Manchester United and thus, the visit to Old Trafford was pencilled in. We thought we might need to cancel the trip since the weather was especially bad the day before we were supposed to go to Old Trafford. But, Alhamdullilah, it was quite safe to travel to Manchester the next day, even though the temperature was - 7 degrees celcius. It was quite an experience for me, jakun katakan tak pernah main snow and dapat pegang snow for the first tme.

The real reason why we braved the icy cold weather to be in the UK before Christmas. But when we planned to go there we didn't expect the weather to be so cold. But, regardless of the weather, everything was worth it to see my niece walked up the stage to accept her Master's scroll. her happy smile on that day really lighted up the room for me and gave me a warm glow, but mind you outside the hall, the temperature was -9 degrees celcius at that time. Congratulation to you my dearest niece. I wish all the best to you, as you embark on your new career in Brunei Darussalam and may Allah protect you always. As testimony of how cold it was on that day, you should see the picture below, even the fountain was frozen, and the water resembles a crystal vase, if you don't mind me saying so....

Don't you agree? It does look like a crystal vase....

Roller Coaster Ride

2010-11-19T11:33:00.004+08:00

It has been a roller coaster ride for me this week, emotion wise - with running here and there to make sure that everything run smoothly for the "Speech Drafting Workshop". It wouldn't be such a roller coaster ride if the people who are supposed to be helping with the logistics part have not gone missing for hours for the two days that the workshop was running.

On top of that I have the DiD class to teach.... that's another thing I have to think of, notwithstanding the classes that I have teach in Wisma starting next week. I'm so worried that I will not be able to get all the materials ready for all the classes. Now I'm just so tired, mentally and physically, and it doesn't help to have people jumping on you for the slightest wrong in the planning, even though it's none of my fault..... orang lain buat aku yang kena salvonya... mana tahan macam ni....

Come to think of it, if I can bomb a few people, I would have done it with much pleasure two days back, sadist tak my thinking.... a friend of mine commented that I'm full of anger and hatred this past few weeks, and he asked me to chill out sikit and enjoy life. I think I'm going to take his advice... nanti kena hypertension pulak... no way would I want that... sakit nanti susah, sapa nak tolong and I also would not like to to be a burden to others.... Insya Allah...

I'm hoping with all my heart that next week will not be another roller coaster ride. So, I better get cracking on the materials for the Wisma classes.

Geram

2010-11-08T15:23:00.002+08:00

Hai la apa lah orang ni, dulu cakap lain, sekarang cakap lain . Letih la aku dengan orang ni... pelik betul aku dengan orang ni, if dia yang tak ikut procedure tak pe, bila aku... panjang la leter dia, nak kata aku tak ikut procedure PUN, ye ke aku tak ikut procedure..... aku tak akan buat cara tu if aku tak dapat kan green light dari dia juga... hish geramnya aku....

Yang dia tu kadang melangkau batas tak pe.... bila aku dah salah la pulak, aku rasa aku tak de melangkau sapa2 pun....e-mail dihantar serentak, salah aku ke yang tu dulu respond pada e-mail aku..... hish susah betul la dengan dia ni..... kadang2 benda yang dia sendiri tak rasa confident nak buat, dengan senang hatinya dia lumpkan aku sama2 dengan rasa tak confident dia tu..... he tolong la ..... aku bukan kau la weh ... apa kau ingat kau tu ada more experience than aku, so kiranya aku ni bodoh la sangat and tak boleh buat apa yang kau tak boleh buat .... tolong la sikit jangan pandang rendah sangat kat aku ni..... GERAM GERAM GERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM .. bila orang ni merajuk, satu dunia tahu, canang sana sini mintak orang duk belah pihak dia... pelik bin ajaib betul aku dengan orang

BERAPA LAMA LAGI AKU HARUS TERUS BERSABAR NIH.................

Reflections

2010-11-08T13:56:00.002+08:00

Come to think of it, plus minus and subtract here and there... actually i don't quite like long courses. I prefer the short courses more... he he he he and I don't have any specific reasons as to why I don't like long courses. But if I'm the one attending the long course, that's another story all together. The bottomline is I just hate, erm maybe not hate, too harsh there, more like just plain dislike long courses... period.

A Meaningful Day

2010-10-27T23:58:00.008+08:00

27.10.2010 - after so long, today I meet a dear friend from my childhood days, the last we met were when we were both in primary school. After primary 6, we parted ways when she was chosen to enter MRSM, while I was selected to continue my secondary education in Kota Baru. Then her family moved from our little hometown and we sort of lost touch, even though I do get news of her from time to time through mutual friends but we never see each other face to face until today.

I knew that she was given a scholarship to continue her studies in the States after form 5, her marriage to somebody from Kuwait not long after, the demise of her mother a few years after her marriage, and how she decided to be a parmenant residents of The United States. But through the years, I have thought of her from time to time, wondering how her life is in the States, is she happy there and a multitude of other questions. Thanks to facebook, we are able to re-connect and re-new our friendship, after a number of e-mails between us, and through facebook, I got to know that she's back in town. So we set-up a meeting today at Wangsa Walk in Wangsa Maju and had a good time yakking and catching up on each others' news. She's now seriously into painting and she showed me some of what she had painted...beautiful pieces it was, and she told me that she is seriously considering have an exhibition of her paintings. I wish her all the best in her venture.

I hope this friendship will continue to flourish. Ninnie, you have not change at all, the years have been kind to you and all the best to you..muaaaaaaaaaaaaah. InsyaAllah, this Saturday we have set-up another meeting at another venue, together with a few of our other primary school friends. I'm looking forward to meeting Mek Nor, Nab, Fozie, Ana and the others.

InsyaAllah I will post the photos taken at the renunion this Saturday.... if I remember to bring the camera with me ....\\(^ 0 ^)//

PTK (^ o ^) PTK

2010-10-18T11:54:00.002+08:00

After spending sleepless nights worrying about the darn PTK, lo and behold one day before I was to sit for the PTK, our dear PM announced in the 2011 Budget, come June next year PTK will be abolished and a new format of assessment will be carried out for the civil service. And that would be another story, hope the assessment that is going to be implemented will be better than PTK. Keeping my fingers cross here, hahahahahaha

But, anyway I went for the PTK as scheduled, and the talk that was going around before I entered the exam hall was that since we are the last batch to take the PTK, everyone was hoping that everyone will be awarded 4, 4 - hah fat chance of that happening... Whatever it is, just have to wait and see....and play the waiting game..

Debaran

2010-10-14T17:18:00.003+08:00

Debaran makin terasa, one more day to go, hope I can do it, and do it well..... Ya Allah tolong la hamba Mu ini...

Dup Dab Dup Dab berdebar-debar jantung ku mikirkan Saturday ni....huwaaaa tak nak anything bad berlaku...

Kursus, PTK

2010-10-12T13:51:00.003+08:00

Second day of kursus, so far Alhamdullilah everything is running smoothly... Hopefully things will go smoothly till the end of this week. Tak mau lagi macam semalam, penat mental jadinya.... nasib class in the afternoon went without a hitch....if tak, erm kena la face the music....

Saturday ni lagi satu battle that I need to face...hopefully yang ini pun boleh ku hadapi dengan jayanya....hope to see a better outcome this time around.... trying to stay positive here, walaupun usaha kearah itu tak la sebanyak mana sangat....

Kerja pun dah mula menimbun, 2010 ni banyak pulak kerja kena settlekan hujung-hujung tahun ni, tak macam last year, relax sikit, walaupun ada juga class yang kena handle, tapi kali ni rasanya bertindan- tindan pulak kerja yang datang...but whatever it is, I'm looking forward to December...hope it will be a good month for me.

Tension lagi.........

2010-10-10T18:50:00.002+08:00

Tension lagi sebab takut teramat sangat dengan kursus "Effective Writing" yang akan berjalan selama seminggu starting esok. And minggu ni jugak la kena handle kursus untuk bahagian lain. Jadual bertindan pulak tu...fenin memikirkannya. Macam tak bersedia aja untuk kursus ini, terlalu banyak masa dihabiskan untuk buat benda lain. Banyak lagi handout untuk kursus ni tak buat....tension, tension, tension.

I am so unprepared for this course. I hope everything will go smoothly until the end of the week. Ya Allah aku mohon pada Mu, biar la kursus ini berjalan dengan lancar. Aku malas nak dengar suara-suara sumbang berbunyi. Aku malas nak dengar orang tu membebel kata objektif kursus ini tidak tercapai, kursus not well planned dan sebagainya.... Malas weh nak dengar tu... and every time tak kira untuk kursus mana... channel radio akan berada di stesen yang sama, mainkan lagu yang sama....kadang-kadang bengang jugak aku mendengarnya....mana tidaknya, orang lain yan buat tak kena kat mata dia, aku jugak yang kena bebel....penat weh asyik nak kena pikul silap orang lain...kadang-kadang tu rasa life is so unfair...bila SKT nanti, markah orang tu tinggi and me? Rendah! Why? Sebab di mata dia, aku ni jenis tak pandai buat kerja, tak pandai mengajar, tak sesuai untuk ngajar PTD, aku bukan lecturer macam orang yang seangkatan dengan dia...aku cikgu cabuk aje...tapi masa perlu kan orang nak buat anything technical, aku jugak lah yang dicari, masa tu lembut gigi dari lidah....sabar aje lah, Allah tu maha adil....

Apa pun hopefully everything will go smoothly for the duration of the course.

Syawal

2010-10-08T09:55:00.003+08:00

Read an article in one of the daillies a few days back, the writer wrote something about the concept of openhouses that is so prevalent in our society today. In the article, the writer's compared to how Aidil Fitri or Aidil Adha for the matter was celebrated in the days of yores. The writer said, back then the concept of an openhouse would mean guests are welcomed to drop in at anytime, to celebrate the festival with the host family without any prior invitation. Nowadays, according to the writer, the trend is to have a special day for the celebration, where the host will send invitation to all and an extensive spread (depending on the budget of the host) will be waiting for the guests to enjoy. And this one day can fall on any day for the whole month of Syawal.

I personally have experienced both types of celebrations, and to be franked, I prefer the old style of celebrating Aidil Fitri, where all are welcomed, regardless, the sense of camaraderies between family and friends are deeply felt, but I do understand that the rigour of today's world, necessited the need to assigned a special day to invite friends and relatives to celebrate Aidil Fitri together with the host. I don't know, maybe it's just me and not others, but I feel that the warmth and closes in the relationship is somewhat diluted when Aidil Fitri is celebrated in this manner.

I have heard stories of where the host family go all out in the preparation for the openhouse and invitations send to more than 50 people, with some even agreeing to attend the openhouse. Sadly to say, only one person attended, how would you feel if you are the host for that openhouse? You have slogged so hard to make sure that there're enough food for everyone, spend time agonising about the menu, but come the big day, only one person turned up to celebrate Aidil Fitri with you. It made feel me so sad when I heard this story, thinking of the wastage of food, money and time for the host. The sadness she/he must had felt, thinking that in the pegging order of her/his friends, she/he is at the bottom of the list. The excuse is always there that there's too many invitations to fulfill....so excuses are given at the last minutes, even though a promise has been given. I have been taught that once a promise is given, you must fulfill the promise...on the other hand, promises nowadays seems of no value, a worthless commodity in the fast-paced world of today. Some of you reading this, may think that I'm old-fashioned, but I do acknowledged that when it comes to promises, I'm very old fashioned in that sense...that's why I'll try to fulfill any promises I made to attend any openhouse invitation extended to me, even though I'm filled to the gills. I'll try to make it to the openhouses, and probably stayed to chit-chat or just to sample some of the food prepared. I think by doing this, I would gladden the heart of the host, while strengthening our relationship.

I've rambled long enough about openhouses, and today is the last day for the month of Syawal, I still have one last openhouse to attend. I'll be there, I know for a fact that the food will be delicious as one little bird whispered in my ear, as the food for this one particular openhouse is catered from a top-notch caterer, so for now I've to keep some parts of the tank empty in anticipation of the food....hahahahaha.

Lastly, in twenty years time, I wonder how Aidil Fitri/Aidil Adha will be celebrated, will the concept of openhouses withstand time, or will it change as the world become more individualistic? Only time will tell, and for now I'll try insyaAllah, to attend all the openhouses invitation extended to me.. and in the near future, before I go to meet my Maker... :)

2010-08-29T21:53:00.003+08:00

Merdeka Day is just around the corner, and Eid Mubarak will be with us soon. Today is the 19th day of Ramadhan, and so far, this fasting month is not the same as the fasting months of yores, is it because I'm getting old, or because deep down I don't feel happy and full of regrets about what I have done with my life. So many regrets, and this Ramadhan, makes me think deep and hard about life in general and of the wrongs that I have done...

I wish I could undo what have been done, and wipe the slate clean, but I know it is something impossible to do. All that I can do is pray to Allah to have mercy on me and He would pardon me for the wrongs that I have done with my life. This is also the second Ramadhan without my mother around, sometimes on certain days during this Ramadhan, I caught myself thinking of her and thinking of how dissapointed she is in this daughter of hers... I pray that she is at peace at the place where she is now, and may Allah be merciful to her too.

And the bottomline is, I do miss my mother, missed her barks and her acceptance of me even though some of my behaviour must have hurt her feelings more than I know. Al-fatihah to you Che..

Alhamdullilah

2010-07-23T17:33:00.002+08:00

I feel so relief....now I'm no longer officially the secretary to the my office Welfare Club. A burden off my shoulder. Now if only I could let go of the other one then my life would be much, much happier... but, that's another story....I know one day that will also go away and I hope it will happen soon.... I feel that I'm not contributing much to success of the project and I'm letting a lot of people down....

2010-07-01T17:24:00.002+08:00

Hari yang fenin.....so many things happened today...some unexpected....and now I'm all screwed-up because of it....... How I wish with all my heart that the old crowd are all still here.... I miss them, I miss the camaderie, team spirit and the love for the place.. where have it all gone to...

I REALLY MISS THEM.... THEY ARE ALL GONE, ONLY A HANDFUL LEFT........

I wonder what will happen to this place in the years to come.......and whether I'll still be here to see more changes and upheaval happening to this place..... When I look back to the day we move in and to the joy of occupying this place and the feeling of camaderie and team spirit that was still so much alive and strong, it sadden me so much to see how things are now....... Heemmmmmm

2010-06-29T15:13:00.003+08:00

Tension ,tension, tension....wei tak tau nak buat apa untuk class besok..... Wah parah ni macam ni....
Kepala buntu.... tak de idea..... tension.... tension

Pictorial

2010-06-28T15:55:00.006+08:00

Adam 2 Months old

Just Plain Tired

2010-06-26T14:19:00.003+08:00

I just don't get it....I'm always tired, and so easily these days... erm is age catching up with me....hei hei heii..... mungkin kut...I'm not as young as I used to be, I admit that, but would love it, if I don't get tired so easily... letih, letih, tired, tired.....bawak kete pun boleh ngantuk... apa-kah....takut dibuatnya..... what if I come a cropper nanti

World Cup, Class and HRMIS

2010-06-24T14:51:00.002+08:00

This week I'm so tired, what with the World Cup, class and HRMIS.... I feel deadbeat, wish I could just sleep the day away, and don't have to go to class for the rest of the day... I'm sure I'll be driving home like a zombie at the end of the day.... Oh no, I clean forgot that I have to attend a dinner do tonight.....don't feel like going but a promise is a promise and I hate to break a promise. Moreover, the host put so much effort in preparing for the dinner tonight and I don't think it's nice of me to back-out of the arrangement at the last hour.....seems like I have to shoulder on... regardless of how tired I feel right now.

Tomorrow will be another long day......erm will try to sleep early tonight to face another long and hectic day tomorrow, and I know for a fact that come tomorrow evening traffic will be as usual, bumper to bumper, with everyone rushing to go somewhere for the weekend....

A Short Visit

2010-06-24T00:34:00.003+08:00

Visiting the blog after a long hiatus just to play around with the new templates. Hope whoever visits my blog will not find it an eye sore compared to the old one.

The craze now is the World Cup, and I'm also caught the fever.... and is hoping against hope that either South Korea or Japan would progress in the tournament....would love to see a team from Asia either in the quarter final, semi-final or in the final even.....

MUHAMMAD ADAM ZHAFRAN

2010-02-18T14:03:00.002+08:00

Hemmmmm just a short posting here after such a long while. Just to share the good news, thanks to my nephew, the son of my eldest sister, I am now officially a grandmother. Muhammad Adam Zhafran was born on 7 February 2010. Wish I could post Adam's (that's what the family decided to address the baby by the way) photo here...but all his photos are on my mobile, and I don't really know how to transfer photos from the mobile to the blog just yet.....still a bit kuno about this part, hahahahahahahahahaha.

I don't know how Adam will fill the forms when the time comes for him to so with such a long name. Gone was the days when names where so short, just one word. Nowadays the trends seem to be for a baby to have more than one word attached to their names. And that is just the baby's name, not including the father's name. In the case of my lil' grandson... his father has two names, so if you attached Adam's name to his father, quite a long name it'll be...to be exact five words altogether, quite long to write in a form. Well that's the world today.....

2010

2010-01-31T14:39:00.002+08:00

The first month of the new year is almost gone, the year had start with a bang but is not as busy as when 2009 started. Looking back 2009 was quite a traumatic year for me, and as the end of January 2010 approaches, I wonder what this year would hold for me, more upheavels in my life....hemmmmm I don't know about that, but what I do know is that, Allah knows what is best for me. If Allah deems fit that I have to go through life as how I'm now, then I have to terimanya dengan redha....all I asked is that I'll be strong to face anything that is thrown to me in journey to meet my maker.....Amin.

Now I'm so not in sync with myself and I hate feeling this way.......sometimes I wonder why am I such a screw-up person....... and am I such a bad person to think....wouldn't the world be a better place if i was never born..... I seems to be hurting so many people's feeling....

2010

2010-01-01T00:27:00.003+08:00

Lama dah tak jengok rumah ni, dah bersawang and berabuk everywhere, sorry la tuan rumah ni pemalas sikit bila time kerja berlambak nak kena siapkan.

Anyway SELAMAT MENYAMBUT 2010 to everyone....... HAPPY NEW YEAR
and may the new year bring happiness and joy to each and everyone of you.........................
Moga 2010 akan menjadi tahun yang cemerlang untuk semua.

I wish all the best to everyone, regardless of their race, religion and beliefs.................

Renungan

2009-11-14T10:28:00.002+08:00

Berdoalah kepada ALLAH sentiasa walau diri penuh dengan dosa dan noda.

INGAT! Sesungguhnya ALLAH itu Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Mengasihani

Malas Day

2009-11-03T11:15:00.003+08:00

Have things to do but I'm in my malas mode..... Next week I have a course to run but erm the malas bug is really biting extra hard today.

All I want to do is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz the day away. Now pun I'm practically yawning away... auw my jaws hurt dah from all the yawning.

Wish I can doze off sekejap but it's too early in the day, I need to finish what I am doing now, at least when the dragon asks, I can show that there's some progress from last we had the discussion on what is to be done for next week.

Ermmmmm, need to wait for lunch break to get my forty winks.... hei hei hei ~peace~

OFFICE POLITICS: PERSONALITIES IN THE WORKPLACE

2009-10-27T12:58:00.002+08:00

Something to share, I took if from a posting my friend has uploaded on facebook. Wonder whether this is a common phenomenom all over the world.....??????

Today at 10.34 a.m.

1. Let's have a meeting before a meeting.
These people thrive in big offices where they can spend their days going to meeting after meeting, instead of actually working.

2. How the hell did they get their job?
Every office has one - the person who never fails to baffle their co-workers with their incompetence.

3. I hurry, therefore I am...
This type lives on a steady diet of stress - they can't work without pressure and everything must be done in a rush even if there is no need for it.

4. I'm sick but too important to go home.
These people flatter themselves that they are indispensable. they think the world will stop if they don't go to work.

5. You must respect my authority.
These types patronise those younger than them and have an inflated sense of their own importance. They are fond of lecturing their co-workers about how if they olay their cards right, they might one day end up like them.

6. Have you seen whatshisname?
These people have a few clever tactics for not to be around. They'll leave their jacket on the chair and say I'll be back in five minutes, then you won't see them for three days.

7. Someone more important has come up....
These types think nothing of ordering you in for a meeting, then taking a phone call and ignoring you for half an hour while you wait patiently.

8. I'm actually nice....
These people use e-mail to devastating effect - they think nothing of writing a nasty note and concluding it with a smiley note.

9. I know stuff before you do....
These people love to spread bad news. They feed off misery and love knowing before everyone else that job cuts are coming - which they will spread around the office with glee.

10. I, I....I....
These types step in at the last minute and take all the credit for any success, without actually doing any of the work.

New Zealand Herald
Sunday, 6 September 2009

Emmmm, after reading all these, it makes me wonder whether in the eyes of others, I too fall into one of the categories listed. Maybe, I don't know.... but one thing I definitely know is that I do not want to be in any of these categories....InsyaAllah.... I want to be known as someone who does not easily shirk any duties given to me, and that I'll do my upmost to make it a success.

Anyway what do you think of this list.... do you think there are people like this in your organisation?

SEKADAR RENUNGAN

2009-10-01T14:37:00.002+08:00

Something I took from my niece's facebook, I'm not sure whether she wrote it or if she took it from somewhere, but I just would like to share it with you... boleh dijadi ingatan untuk kita bersama...

Kalau Allah tu Maha Penyayang, kenapa cipta Neraka?

Ceritanya begini, di sebuah negeri yang melaksanakan dasar ‘Membangun Bersama Islam’, kerap kali pihak berkuasa tempatan menjalankan pemeriksaan mengejut di premis-premis perniagaan dan kompleks beli-belah, untuk memastikan para pekerja di premis berkenaan menutup aurat.

Aku tak pasti berapa jumlah denda yang dikenakan sekiranya didapati melakukan kesalahan, tapi selalunya mereka akan diberi amaran bagi kesalahan pertama, dan didenda jika didapati masih enggan mematuhi garis panduan yang ditetapkan. Lazimnya dalam setiap operasi sebegini, seorang ustaz ditugaskan bersama dengan para pegawai pihak berkuasa tempatan. Tugasnya adalah untuk menyampaikan nasihat secara berhemah, kerana hukuman dan denda semata-mata tidak mampu memberi kesan yang mendalam.

Dalam satu insiden, ketika operasi yang dijalankan sekitar 2005, seorang gadis yang bekerja di salah satu lot premis perniagaan di Pasaraya Billion telah didapati melakukan kesalahan tidak menutup aurat. Maka dia pun kena denda la…setelah surat saman dihulurkan oleh pegawai PBT, ustaz ni pun bagi la nasihat, “..lepas ni diharap saudari insaf dan dapat mematuhi peraturan..peratura n ni bukan semata-mata peraturan majlis perbandaran, tapi menutup aurat ni termasuk perintah Allah. Ringkasnya, kalau taat segala perintahNya, pasti Dia akan membalas dengan nikmat di syurga..kalau derhaka tak nak patuhi perintahNya, takut nanti tak sempat bertaubat, bakal mendapat azab di neraka Allah. Tuhan Maha Penyayang, Dia sendiri tak mahu kita campakkan diri ke dalam neraka…“

Gadis tersebut yang dari awal mendiamkan diri,tiba-tiba membentak “Kalau Tuhan tu betul-betul baik, kenapa buat neraka? Kenapa tak boleh sediakan syurga je? Macam tu ke Tuhan Maha Penyayang?” Mungkin dari tadi dia dah panas telinga, tak tahan dengar nasihat ustaz tu..dah la hati panas kena denda sebab dia tak pakai tudung..

Ustaz tu terkedu sekejap. Bahaya budak ni. Kalau dibiarkan boleh rosak akidah dia. Setelah habis gadis tu membebel, ustaz tu pun jawab:”Dik, kalau Tuhan tak buat neraka, saya tak jadi ustaz. Berapa sen sangat gaji saya sekarang. Baik saya jadi tokey judi, atau bapa ayam.. hidup senang, lepas mati pun tak risau sebab gerenti masuk syurga… Mungkin awak ni pun saya boleh culik dan jual jadi pelacur. Kalau awak nak lari, saya bunuh je. Takpe, sebab neraka tak ada. Nanti kita berdua jumpa lagi kat syurga..Kan Tuhan tu baik?“

Gadis tu terkejut. Tergamak seorang ustaz cakap macam tu? Sedang dia terpinga-pinga dengan muka confused, ustaz tu pun jelaskan: “perkara macam tadi akan berlaku kalau Tuhan hanya sediakan syurga. Orang baik,orang jahat, semua masuk syurga..maka apa guna jadi orang baik? Jadi orang jahat lebih seronok. Manusia tak perlu lagi diuji sebab semua orang akan ‘lulus’ percuma. Pembunuh akan jumpa orang yang dibunuh dalam syurga..perogol akan bertemu lagi dengan mangsa rogol di syurga..lepas tu boleh rogol lagi kalau dia nak..takde siapa yang terima hukuman. Sebab Tuhan itu ‘baik’. Adakah Tuhan macam ni yang kita nak? Awak rasa, adil ke?“; tanya ustaz.

“Ah…mana adil macam tu. Orang jahat takkan la terlepas camtu je..” rungut si gadis.

Ustaz tersenyum dan menyoal lagi: “Bila tuhan tak adil, boleh ke dianggap baik?“

Gadis tu terdiam.

Ustaz mengakhiri kata-katanya:”Adik, saya bagi nasihat ni kerana kasih sesama umat Islam. Allah itu Maha Penyayang, tapi Dia juga Maha Adil. Sebab tu neraka perlu wujud. Untuk menghukum hamba-hambaNya yang derhaka, yang menzalimi diri sendiri dan juga orang lain. Saya rasa awak dah faham sekarang. Kita sedang diuji kat atas dunia ni. Jasad kita bahkan segala-galanya milik Allah, maka bukan HAK kita untuk berpakaian sesuka hati kita. Ingatlah; semuanya dipinjamkan olehNya, sebagai amanah dan ujian..semoga kita dapat bersabar dalam mentaati segala perintahNya, untuk kebaikan diri kita juga.

Eid Mubarak

2009-09-20T20:14:00.002+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

TO MY CYBER FRIENDS

AND MY FRIENDS OUT THERE......

MOGA AMALAN PUASA YANG

SAMA KITA JALANI

SEPANJANG RAMADHAN 2009

AKAN DITERIMA ALLAH ADANYA

INSYAALLAH......

PADA YANG DAH DI KAMPONG

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT AIDIL FITRI

INI BERSAMA KELUARGA TERCINTA

LASTLY

BILA BALIK SEMULA KETEMPAT KERJA

BERHATI-HATI

AND

A SAFE JOURNEY BACK

FROM

KAMPONG TO THE GRINDSTONE...........

MPK & FM

2009-09-09T11:48:00.002+08:00

Dua tiga minggu nih asyik duk busy dengan MPK & FM. Dah naik jelak dah buat benda tak juga siap-siap hu hu hu hu....... nak balik bawak balik, buat tak jaga siapnya, datang office buat lagi, tak juga siap siapnya........... pening sudah kepala ini

Tak tau la bila nak siap nih, hari ni pun duk ngadap dua benda ni jugak, letih n penat dah duk perbetulkan ape yang kena betulkan. Nak muntah dah weh buat carta aliran for setiap proses kerja yang perlu dibuat....... uweeeeeek!!!!!!

Eh aku ni kan posa mana boleh uweeeek, cancel cancel nak uwek pasal MPK & FM ni pun kena tunggu lepas buka posa, nasib nasib.........

MPK - Manual Prosedur Kerja

FM - Fail Meja ye bukan Foreign Minister!!!

Merdeka Day & Happy Birthday

2009-08-31T16:26:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI KEMERDEKAAN, MALAYSIA

MOGA KEMAKMURAN DAN KEDAMAIAN

YANG DI NIKMATI BERSAMA

AKAN BERKEKALAN

SEHINGGA AKHIR ZAMAN

SAMA-SAMA LAH KITA BERUSAHA KEARAHNYA

1MALAYSIA

And

to Kak Ngah, Happy Belated Birthday, sorry lupa nak wish yesterday when we meet for the breaking of fast at Fir's house. By the way my sister was born one day before Malaysia got her independence in 1957, that was on the 30th of August. According to my late mum, my father was at Dataran Merdeka rehearsing for the merdeka celebration when she was born. And among my siblings, i tend to never to forget her birthday, how could i with all the media going all out about celebrating merdeka day on 31 August every year. A blessing in disguise wouldn't you say so for me..hei hei hei

Alhamdullilah

2009-08-23T11:08:00.002+08:00

Second day of Ramadan, it's a blessing this year dapat start the fasting dengan hari yang tak bekerja. Boleh concentrate on the ramadan more than work. Boleh juga la periok belanga ku berbunyi, if tak bazar ramadan la tempat aku memasak nanti, so boleh la skill aku memasak yang tak seberape tu di uji kihkihkihkih......

Yang paling tak ku gemar is that bila puasa bermula on a working day, everyone is rushing to go back in time for the breaking of fast and the road will be chock full of traffic. Tersilap masa by just a second pun, terperangkap dalam traffic la maknanya, happened to me a few times dah the past few years. Now I'm very mindful of the fact, sampai dah siapkan bekal kurma and mineral water dalam kereta, mana la tau kut tak sempat sampai, boleh jugak berbuka, albeit in the car, tapi tak pe la asal ibadah puasa tu dapat dijalankan dengan sempurna.

So this year bekal kurma dah siap, but i'll be trying my darnest to get home in time before azan magrib, at least tak la rushing sangat nak bersiap untuk gi solat terawih. Nasib la surau tu tak jauh sangat dari rumah, jalan kaki ke sana pun boleh........

Ramadan Al-Mubarak

2009-08-22T11:06:00.002+08:00

First day of puasa, selamat berpuasa untuk semua, yang ku kenal dan tak ku kenali. Moga ibadah puasa yang jalani bersama ini akan mendatangkan keberkatan kepada kita semua. Disamping itu semoga amalan yang kita lakukan sepanjang puasa ini akan diterima Allah.....

SELAMAT BERPUASA

MENUNAI SOLAT TERAWIH

SEPANJANG BULAN YANG MULIA INI

p.s: moga tak tertinggal satu pun solat terawih untuk sepanjang ramadan ini (^_^),

Farewell

2009-08-18T22:31:00.003+08:00

IDFR Welfare Club had a farewell do for IDFR staffs yang dah pindah ke jabatan lain or retired from service. Out of the nine, four turned up for the do.... Alhamdullilah and thank you to them for turning up. I was so worried that not one of the invited guests will turn up for the do. Ye lah, most but not all asked to be transferred out and some left with a bitter after taste in their mouth, so that sort of scared me a lot, since I'm part of the organising committee. Things lagi rasa worst since Dato' really really looked displeased about having the do one day ahead of a major event that the Institute is hosting.......Erm ntah la this year memang jinx agaknya for me, mesti aje ada yang tak kena kat mana-mana.

Anyway the farewell went off well, even though Dato' came down late to grace the event, way later then Tan Sri, boss yang paling atas. Tan Sri nampak ok, but Dato' sat there with a frown on her face and dengan muka masam to boot. When I invited her to sit at the main table pun dia refused, before leaving a while later, tanpa menjamah apa-apa pun yang terhidang. I'm really in hot soup with her on this, it seems dia rasa kurang puas hati because I did'nt go to see her to inform her about the do beforehand. Well...... I admit it was an oversight on my part, ye lah mana nak kejar Tan Sri to see which date yang dia free, preparation untuk course that my Division was running, nak kena buat MPK and the endless meetings yang kena attend, as a result lupa la pulak nak masuk mengadap dia. Now have to face the music la nampaknya, regardless of whether I like it or not..... Ye la SYMP katakan...... hei hei hei hei

Posa

2009-08-17T22:35:00.004+08:00

Posa is just around the corner, half of the year nearly gone and a lot have happened to me. I wonder what more is waiting for me for the rest of the year, only Allah knows. I can plan but Allah will decides whether what I plan for the rest of the year will bear fruit or not. Yup, looking back to the past months of 2009, it had been an eventful year.....

POSA.....talking or thinking about posa makes me realised that this year, Che (that's how I addressed my late mother) won't be around to share the Ramadan with the family. I wonder how posa would be like this year....last year everybody spent the fasting month and had the raya celebration in Kuala Lumpur, a first for Che and Wae (my father) not to posa and beraya at the kampung. Yes definitely it will be different this year. For me there won't be any mad rush to buy ticket to go back to the kampung 'cos I'm not too sure as to where I'll be celebrating this raya, yang penting sekarang posa dulu.

DIHARAP BULAN YANG PENUH BERKAT INI AKAN MEMBAWA BERSAMANYA KEBERKATAN UNTUK SEMUA UMAT ALLAH DIDUNIA INI, TAK KIRA DI MANA MEREKA BERADA..... AMIN...

Venting my frustration

2009-08-08T12:19:00.004+08:00

I hate it when people looked down their noses at me and have this holier then thou expression on their faces, especially when the course is running, as if I have not put in my blood, sweat and tears to ensure that the course would be a success. I REALLY REALLY HATE IT..... ar'gh.... but I have to istighfar banyak-banyak and keep saying to myself sabar, sabar think of their age, otai kata kan, but ar'gh, one of them really bugs me more than the other...hem sabar aje lah..

She has this holier than thou attitude everytime we have a course to run together and never lift a finger to help with the logistics for the course and when anything goes wrong... the blame falls on my lap, is that fair?????? aaaaaar'gh thinking of it is enough to make my mood go all sour. Just because she's pampered at home and everything gets done for her, don't expect the same thing at the office, buat sama-sama la, berat sama dipikul ringan sama dijinjing. All she wants to do is, sits back like a queen, with arms akimbo, and look down her snooty nose at me scurrying around ensuring that everything is in place. I thing that what really bugs me most is when dia bekira sangat about the division of work. If it appears as if I have less teaching hours then her, she'll go crying to the Director, asking the Director to intervene on her behalf and to make sure that I get equal cuts of the pie same as her...and most of the time the Director will side her, just because they are good friends from way back. All she wants to do is just to waltz in and teach. But she doesn't give a thought that while she's happily teaching, I'll be running around in circles, chasing after the course clerks to make sure that everything is in place and no hiccups will occur thoughout the duration of the course and at the same time preparing for my lectures.

Talking about the course clerks (one otai and one with an attitude) and in some ways the P.A to the Director too is part of the circus, is another story all together.... enough said. Come to think of it there's more otai compared to the not so otai in my division....erm sabar aje lah.

Busy Moments

2009-07-04T09:00:00.002+08:00

This past few weeks have been a whirlwind week for me, even the weekends were not rest days - either I have to work or ran errands for people, and this weekend is also the same. But ni kira macam curi tulang la ni, jengok here kejap to write something...

Phew! letih betul.... and is this going to be the trend for this year, I don't know.... even my third sis is bengang with me, all because I said that too much had happened this year and that I'm not ready to fall in with her plans... *sigh* I seemed to be rubbing people up the wrong way aje this year *sigh* .....

And on the workfront, every time my boss decides to take a long leave, that is the time things decide to heat up.... and I have attend all these meetings in her stead... *another long sigh*. Why o why do all the bigwigs on the third floor of Block A decided at this particular time to hold meetings to thrash things out, and I will be spending so much of my time in the Executive Meeting Room.. something I don't particularly like to do....hem it will be just a three way discussion anyway... tu yang bosan tu, any ideas given by the rest pun, are always brush aside... tu yang buat malas tu..tapi nak buat macam mana kan sebab dah budaya, in accordance to the saying that yang tua lebih arif, lebih banyak makan garam...... hei hei hei tu sebab agaknya ramai yang ada darah tinggi kut!

Ooops, gotta go, my eldest sister is hollering for me....... better run now before I get another person all tied up in knots because of me... hei hei hei

Not a Good Day

2009-06-16T22:11:00.005+08:00

Yup today is not a good day, I have been driving like for upteem years and nothing major have happened, tergesel and tercalar situ sini tu biasala...... masa mula-mula dapat licence dulu pun, yang paling teruk pun, I dented the bumper when I accidentally pressed too hard on the accelerator while reversing and bang!!!! I ran smacked into a tree I didn't see was behind the car. Nasib at that time my father didn't scream bloody murder for what had happened. I think he knew I was already shaking in my boots while telling him what had happened to his precious car......ALHAMDULLILAH but today........

Hua, Hua Hua somebody bang into the back of my car today. And to make matter worst, the car I was driving was not even mine. The car belongs to my friend, a brand new MyVi, bought just two months ago...... I feel so bad and guilty to boots...... Nape la aku gatal nak guna kete dia...... but when I called to tell him about what happened, he was nice about, even saying "..it's alright, what's important is that nothing bad happened to you, yang penting selamat...." Hua, hua, hua, lagi la buat I feel sooooo guilty. If I was more careful all this would not have happened.......

A lesson learnt, to be more careful on the road.... Thinking of all the hassle I had to go through today, make me wish so much that I could put back the clock and erase what had happened this morning....... Sampai sekarang, while writing this, rasa bersalah tu masih tebal lagi dalam hati ku...

HUA, HUA, HUA, HUA HUA.......

Anak Sedara ku Dah besar

2009-06-08T16:15:00.011+08:00

My sis, her husband with the anak and menantu baru

My nephew's wedding, 7.6.2009, the boy I used to baby-sit in his formative years is now somebody's husband. Dah besar!!!!!!! but I still see the small rolly polly boy I used to bath, suap makan and rocked to sleep. I am happy but there's a tinge of sadness too..... I wish him all the happiness in the world and a happy married life together. Aku juga doakan moga jodoh mereka berdua akan berkekalan sepanjang hayat mereka dan segala onak and badai dalam menjalani hidup bersama akan diselesaikan dengan aman dan penuh iman.

Part of the rombongan dari pihak lelaki.......

Anak-anak sedara ku lagi and thier uncle, my younger brother.

Gambar-gambar dari my cranky mobile, hope it turns out well bila dah publish nanti. Almaklum la pixelnya bukan la tinggi sesangat....

This Saturday, 13.72009, majlis rumah pihak lelaki pulak, mostly semua dah siap tapi I know my sis mesti rasa penat sesangat getting everything ready for the kenduri. Don't worry sis, I'm here to help you, just give me a shout and I'll come running no matter the time, come rain or shine.

Bulan yang busy

2009-06-02T16:36:00.002+08:00

Baru dapat jengok, tapi sekejap aje, this month memang jadual padat. Tak kira lah on the work front ke or kat rumah. Eeee banyak betul nak buat, tambah my nephew pun nak kawin bulan ni, akad nikah dia pun 5.6.2009 ni, my sis mesti tak menang tangan nak uruskan kan macam-macam for her son's wedding ni. Aku - macam biasa la tukang nyibuk, buat apa yang patut, kah kah kah kah..........

And talking about wedding, memang banyak wedding invitation yang datang, sampai tak terkejar nak hadir, tambah2 if the weddings fall on the same day and majority masa quite close....if jarak between the kenduri tu dekat tak pe la pulak, ini tidak ada tu nun kat utara, selatan and tengah. Tu baru kat belah pantai barat, if masuk kat pantai timur....tak tau la aku....
Anyway terima kasih ku ucapkan pada yang sudi menjemput and mohon maaf pada yang tak sempat ku penuhi jemputan tu. Tapi pada semua ku ucapkan "SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU DAN MOGA BERKEKALAN HINGGA AKHIR HAYAT".....

Pada kawan-kawan ku yang sedang bercuti sempena cuti sekolah ni, Selamat Bercuti ku Ucapkan. Bila balik kerja nanti hopefully dengan semangat yang lebih berkobar-kobar lagi, demi anak bangsa semua!!!!!

Hari Yang Malas

2009-05-18T18:46:00.002+08:00

No interesting entry to write just that I feel so bored today.......

I know I have tonnes of work to do but the MALAS bug bit me hard today so the malasness hari ni is extremely extremely high......... all I want to do is sit at my desk and stare at the computer, hoping against hope that the minutes I need to type will miraculously typed itself and hahahahaha the best part, jeng jeng jeng e-mailed itself to my boss for her approval, correct whatever needs to be corrected, print and file itself safely in the file......... hahahahahahahaha dream on babe, as if it's going to happen...... but no harm in dreaming, right.............

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY AND HAPPY BELATED MOTHER'S DAY

2009-05-14T18:30:00.006+08:00

To All my TEACHER FRIENDS out there, too many to list here, I wish them "SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI GURU 2009" teruskan perjuangan mu demi bangsa dan negara...... 16 MAY 2009 which falls on a Saturday this year. Buat aku terkenan masa zaman aku bersekolah dulu, those were the best years in life, tak payah nak risau pasal apa pun, yang penting gi sekolah, belajar, get good grades in all subjects, and main. Oooo what bliss it was then compared to now, sekarang semua kena fikir and buat sehabis baik in all aspect. Tak buat dengan baik jawabnya macam mana nak put food on the table and pay the mortgage......hu hu hu hu..... Pada guru-guru ku yang telah mengajar ku sehingga aku menjadi apa yang dapat dilihat sekarang, jasa mu tetap ku kenang sampai bila-bila. Thank you for the whackings that you gave me, because if you have not cared enough about me, I would not be who I am now....Mr Bachan Singh, Mr & Mrs Lim, Cikgu Norbi, Mr Yong, Mr Wong, Mr Tan, En Mokhtar, Tg Azuan, Miss Sally, Cikgu Fatimah (psst she's late my cousin: who taught me when I was in Standard 4!) dll. THANK YOU SO MUCH.... MUCHAS GRACIAS......ARIGATO....SYUKHRAN......

And a belated HAPPY MOTHER's DAY to all mothers in the world.....especially to Myza, Cikgu Sonata, Reenaz, Freggie yang jauh nun di sana, Muhaida, Mai, Umai, Nurul, Juraiza, Atoi, Yatt, Leezs, Shanaz, Lily and ramai lagi yang tak dapat disenaraikan kat sini. Maaf ye.......

Ingat nak buat entry about my sojourn to Bandung with the family, end of April, tapi di sebabkan kesibukan kerja tak sempat lagi nak buat benda tu.....InsyaAllah one of this days when I have the time...... erm ntah bila la tu, tengok2 nanti tinggal niat aje la tu..... hahahahahahahaha

Lama tak Post

2009-05-08T17:56:00.003+08:00

Lama jugak tak jengok kat sini, mintak maaf banyak - banyak la kat Myza, belum sempat laeee nak layan TAG tu, asyik ade aje yang kena dulukan.

Yang paling tak best now, ntah ape silapnya dengan modem CELCOM tu sekarang, susah betul nak connect dgn CELCOM 3G, tiap kali cuba mesti dapat signal NO SERVICE......geram betul dibuatnya. Sekarang ape-ape keje yang nak buat kat umah, kena hold sampai masuk office, leceh betul di buatnya!!!!!!!!!!! GERAM #*%&#

Demam pun kejap kebah kejap tak, tak kan kena selsema ...... kut, jauhkan lah tak nak la den....
Anyway hopefully cepat la baik, tak best betul, keje pula menimbun nak buat, balik umah aje terus tumbang walhal ade keje yang dibawak balik untuk dibereskan..... hu hu hu hu

Kerja, Kerja, Kerja..... Farewell, Farewell, Farewell....

2009-04-21T10:17:00.005+08:00

Hu hu hu hu most of the old guards at this office are going out either being transferred or on voluntary basis.... I feel quite sad to see them go, ye lah dah lama working with them.... dah understand their rentak in going about their business..... will miss them so much, not to see them at the table when we have our monthly management meetings and the various taskforces set-up by the Senior Director when there's a need for the setting up of the taskforce.... I will especially miss the dry wits of one of the Deputy Directors in combatting any digs at the issues being discussed at the meetings.

Another Deputy Director that I will miss is ... for his colourful batik shirts every Thursday and his blur, blur expression when something just doesn't go the way he plans or thinks.....the standard answer would be..."eh ye ke, I tak tau pun, ingat okay boleh buat..." hahahahahaha. That's one of his many idiosyncrasies that will remain, arched in my memories, particularly his huge smile (grinning from ear to ear, is more like it) and sunny disposition...... yup I'll miss that..... the jokes and laughter when the goings get tough, to ensure that everything goes according to plans for all major events held at the office....

But whatever it is, that is part of the cycle of life, people will eventually move on, and I wish them all the best in their new workplace and hopefully the friendship that have been forged in this office will last forever. Amen...

Me... I too would like to move on from this place..... to try new things and to learn new things... I don't want to feel jaded with my life...... frankly, I don't want to retire here! If possible I want accumulate as much knowledge as I can.... not just from books (theorectically) but also those gained from experiences, and personally I think, to do that I need venture into the unknown.... Yes, maybe even going to live in another country! .....but I'm still too chicken to take that step.... InsyaAllah one day, who knows, I may get my wish......hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

To Sonata, alhamdullilah demam dah kebah, but not after makan ubat bergantang - gantang and visiting the doctor twice, siap kena buat x - ray lagi, hu hu hu hu, sebab the doctor is afraid that something might be wrong with my lungs. Tapi alhamdullilah dah ok.... nothing serious... demam dah baik tapi on the workfront dah mula busy..... today pun busy, preparing for tomorrow's event - public lecture by Rev. Jesse Louis Jackson Sr.

Demam lagi......

2009-04-14T09:45:00.002+08:00

Demam or demam bila la hang nak pi balik rumah hang ni? Penat dah la weh makan ubat bergantang-gantang tapi masih tak jugak nak baik-baik... tolong la weh.....class pun dah masuk gear ni, if masih duk macam ni, macam mana nak jalankan kerja ni...... hu hu hu hu hu hu

Jangan semput dah la lepas ni, aku tak nak makan pil ventolin lagi, nanti heartbeat pun laju semacam aje...and rasa berdebar-debar sepanjang masa.....tak suka tak suka tak suka.....

Time time macam ni la terasa nak manja-manja tapi apa kan daya tak ada yang sudi nak manjakan..... kah kah kah kah kah kah hahahahahahahaha.......

Hujung minggu ni semua nak balik kampung, makcik kat kampung nak buat tahlil untuk arwah mak....hu hu hu hu badan duk macam ni rasa tak larat la pulak nak join dia orang balik......hu hu hu hu...... ekonomi pun tak mengizinkan untuk ambik flight balik kampung sebab dah banyak perabih duit bulan ni... hu hu hu hu......

They are In Town

2009-04-14T09:28:00.003+08:00

Hai the start of the busy time for me, the new batch of PTD officers are in town for the next four months, meaning I have to clock in way before my clock in time of 8.30 a.m. Hu hu hu hu.... 'cos their class starts at 8.00 a.m.

Tapi kan kan I tak faham la dengan setengah - tengah orang kat sini, tuan empunya badan tak rasa pun that it's going to be a problem coming in earlier then usual to the office. Pelik betul la depa ni even though my official clock-in time is 8.30, if my responsibility is to be in at the office before 8.00, then I will try my darnest to be in before masa tu la... apa susah.... heh pelik betul la aku dengan orang-orang kat sini.... sejak aku masuk kat sini aku tak pernah sampai lewat selepas dari pukul 8.00 pun, unless under dire circumstances.... sabar aje lah dengan mulut-mulut yang suka pot-pet pot-pet tu. If aku kena drag on the carpet for my tardiness by the Senior Director or the Execuitve Chairman or my immediate boss, the Director of Language, aku yang kena face the music not them.... so ape la dia orang nak kepoh sangat pasal benda ni.....tak tau la aku....sabar and terus sabar.....

To Reenaz, hari tu feeling down sangat and dah la hujan pulak tu, lagi la buat mood down tapi minggu ni dah okay...hei hei hei hei.... balik la Malaysia if ada peluang, nanti boleh kita sama-sama main hujan... nak tak? hei hei hei.......

Hala Tuju

2009-04-10T13:51:00.002+08:00

Mana jati diri ku and manakah hala tuju hidup ku ini? Entah aku tak tahu apa ayng aku sendiri kehendaki sekarang.....

Aku rasa begitu terasing sekali! Ku renung diri ku sendiri and ku berfikir sendirian kenapa aku jadi begini. Kenapa aku biarkan diri ini jadi macam ni....

Hujan lebat yang mencurah turun diluar seolah - olah membayangi fikiran ku yang berserabut
ini.

Friendships

2009-04-06T09:58:00.004+08:00

Friends...... What are they? and what can be constituted as friendship that could last through the test of times..... This past few weeks I have been thinking a lot about what the term means and in the process did some very deep soul searching..... It makes me wonder whether I would make a good friend to someone or will I fly through life shacking up with people I met at that particular moment in time and moving on without making any deep enduring friendship from that ties, or is it just me who doesn't know how to keep the friendship going through the distance and time that separate us. I still have no answer to that....

But I wish to thank those people who have fly into my life all these years, some of which I do still keep in contact with, even though not as frequently as I like, and those whom I have lost touch with but still have fond memories of..... I wish all of them, all the best in their lives and are happy and contented doing what they are supposed to be doing with their lives now. Not the least, a happy and enduring lives with their loved ones. Good Health to everyone.....

Lastly, I pray to Allah the All Mighty to make me content with the lot that He has bestowed on me and not to yearn for things that are not meant for me. Amin.....

My Dear Sister Kak Ngah

2009-03-26T12:20:00.003+08:00

Surprise! Surprise! I was surfing the net one day out boredom and lo and behold, I came across a blog written by my third sister. Terkejut jugak la aku tengok and baca blog dia.....

Wow, ramai betul followers dia, from all over the world, tapi blog dia more towards tatting, if any of you are interested in tatting boleh la jengok her blog (tatsaway.blogspot.com). Frankly my Kak Ngah ni is the most creative among us siblings. She likes needlecrafts and is very good at sewing. She even attended a sewing class done during the lunchbreak at her office, dulu while she was working with BSN. Now she is no longer working, she optted for early retirement from the workforce and is now a full time housewife. She now has more time to concentrate on her needlecrafts and pursue other hobbies that she had no time for when she was working. She is also a good cook. Apa yang dia masak memang yummy, I especially like her apple pie, makan with vanilla ice-cream, sedap..... Wish I am half as good as she is when it comes to needlecrafts and cooking.

Hahahahaha, dream on la, the only thing I'm good at is doing the cross-stitch, other then watching tv, lazing on the bed with a good book. As to masak memasak, erm banyak yang tak menjadi dari menjadi....... hahahahahaha, tried baking, tapi cake yang aku bake semuanya bantat, masak lauk-pauk pulak either terlebih garam or terkurang garam, never could get the taste right. Kiranya aku ni pandai makan aje la ni hu hu hu hu, agaknya tu la pasai nobody trust me with the task of cooking the raya spread. My usual job for raya would be get the house ready, marshal the children around and jeng jeng jeng the top most job, cleaning up the mess after dia orang dah habis masak. Tapi tak pe lah each to his own, if semua nak jadi tukang masak sape pulak ye nak ngemas. Right!

Demam La Pulak!!!

2009-03-18T17:09:00.002+08:00

Hai, hari ni running nose la pulak, tak larat nak kejar dah hidung aku ni...... Adui nak menafas pun susah. Lagi la nak buat kerja, lagi la mamainya dibuatnya. Yang tak bestnya, air-con kat office hari ni terlebih lebih la sejuknya....... Ke aku aje yang perasan macam tu? Aku tengok orang lain relax aje....Tak complain pun pasai air-con ni...

Ke ni disebabkan penangan hidung ku yang tak berenti-renti nak belari... Oai penat la, my dearest nose please, pretty please can you stop running, I'm so tired of sneezing and going to stand at the stairway (nak the heat) sejuk sangat......

Tolong la stop running, penat dah weh nak kejar kau wahai hidung ku........nak edit the paper yang perlu aku siapkan by tomorrow pun tak de mood nak buat. So, please, I'm begging you on bended knees to stop running and sneezing.......

My Niece's Convocation July 2008

2009-03-17T18:09:00.022+08:00

A few of the photos taken with Mak, it was a joyous and happy occasion at the moment in time. I will cherish the memories.......always......

Mak , My Sis, Dad, Nana, EG (Nana's brother) and me (don't I look fat in the photo... kah kah kah)

Nana with her grandmother and grandfather

Mak and Dad with my second sister's family at Nando's Australia

Gold Coast, Australia

Slow Day

2009-03-17T16:01:00.003+08:00

Fuh! *Sigh* I'm so tired and sleepy today! I feel so the malas to do any of my work. This attitude could get me into deep shit if I don't shake myself out of this feeling of lethargy. Half of the day was spend running around trying to unblock my mobile. CELCOM barred my mobile just because I was late by one day in paying the bill. CELCOM, CELCOM, why r you so dilligent this time around? Why o Why? Had to run to PJ to settle the bill and by the time I finished and get back to the office I was so hungry (penangan tak sarapan sebelum pegi settlekan the bill) hu hu hu hu....

Went to the main office and persuade everyone there, including my boss kih kih kih to have a late breakfast. Had my fill, then realised that it's was time to go with Dato' to Pusat Kraftangan in Jalan Conlay. Rushed to get my things and went to the lobby to wait for Dato', lucky I was able to make it in the nick of time.....if tak feel the wrath le nampaknya...huhuhuhu.

Hem... looking and studying my blog, it looks so unattractive compared to some I've seen, my blog is so full of writing, orang masuk singgah kat sini pun mesti boring..... Ye lah no photos or nice graphics to attract the eyes and senses..... Dull kan! When I've the time nanti I will try to pretty up the blog but for now, sorry to those who visited the blog to see nothing but miles and miles of writing ^:)^

Okay time to get back to work.......before somebody comes knocking on the door and sees me doing nothing hahahahahaha........

A Week Later

2009-03-16T15:16:00.005+08:00

It has been a week since Mak passed away, I could still see her face clearly now and felt the coldness of her cheeks when I kissed her for the last time. Dad is now slowly getting use to the idea that she is now gone. On the day Mak was buried, Dad spend the whole day in a daze and he cried himself to sleep that night. He used to have a good appetite but now, this past week, he just ate in small amounts and not the portion that he usually take. Another change I noticed, is that Dad now refused to eat alone, he wants company around the table, someone to eat with him. Apa-apa pun sebagai anak kita semua cuba penuhi pemintaan dia yang ini. Now my sister makes sure that there is someone who will sit and eat with Dad at the table.

To Reenaz my new cyber friend, salam to you and when I click on the link to go to your blog, it directed me to some other place. I wonder whether the address is typed wrongly or there's another technical problem to it. Anyway, if you are reading this entry, I would love it if you could supply me with the correct address. The other day I just went into your blog to say hello and salam pengenalan, tak sempat pun nak copy the recipes on the page, especially the pudding, it looks so yummy delicious. Ingat this weekend if I'm in a rajin mood I try buat the pudding. (I do love to spoil the BM language, selalu sangat guna bahasa rojak). I think if any purist of the BM language is to read this blog, he or she would be fuming mad at me for spoiling the language. Anyway Reenaz, glad to know you and if I can get the address right, could I link you?

First day at work after the three days compassionate leave, and wow so many things to take care of, so tired now!!!!! Have to keep my cool on certain things........InsyaAllah bolehnya....

Bereavement

2009-03-12T10:31:00.005+08:00

DEATH IN THE FAMILY! On 10th March 2009, my Mum drew her last breath right after azan untuk solat isyak habis berkumandang. At her bedside pada masa tu, was my youngest brother, his wife, my eldest niece and her husband and two of my nephews, they were all reading the yasin at that time while Amir, Ninie's husband and my youngest brother took turns to ajar my Mum mengucap. She breath her last right after my brother Fir finished mengajar dia mengucap and Jie, Fir's wife told me that she could see my Mum's mouth moving in unison with Fir as dia mengucap.

Yesterday was the funeral, she is laid to rest at Tanah Perkuburan Sg Tangkas, near UKM. I didn't go to the cemetary yesterday, I just could not make myself go there, I looked at Mum for the last time before she was taken to the cemetary, she look so peaceful, muka Mak begitu bersih dan tenang. Alhamdullilah pemergiannya begitu mudah and aku redha dengan pemergiannya. Moga Allah akan mencucuri rahmat dan menempatkan Mak di antara orang-orang yang soleh....Amin.

Now our worries are with Dad, how he is going to cope with Mak not being here, by his side like before. The whole of yesterday, he spend the day termenung and before he went to sleep semalam, he cried and kept saying, next it will be him going to be laid to rest near Mum. Kami semua takut that he will go into depression and will go away in his sleep......Takut yang Dad akan will himself to death.

Tawakal

2009-03-10T15:42:00.003+08:00

Dah lama jugak ye since my last posting. A lot of things have happened since then. Banyak sesangat, sampai my emotion has being going topsy turvy, churning away like the windmill. But the most important, is that my mum has now taken a turn for the worse. Late last week, she fell from the bed while trying to get up from the bed by herself to go to the bathroom. I don't know how it happened but according to my third sis who was looking after her at that time, she heard a loud bang from the bedroom, and when she ran into the room, she saw mum lying on the floor, at that time mum was still able to speak, but.... now, she's bedridden and could hardly speak. her breathing is also erractic.

Today mum is warded and the doctor said that her kidneys have failed her, and due to this her blood is infected, and the doctor is putting her on a 24 hours observation. The doctor said even though the infection could be cleared up but he doesn't give us a 100% guarantee that all will be well and she will be out of the woods. The doctor also told us to prepare ourselves and not to leave her alone. Banyak bacakan surah yasin untuk mak, itu pesanan doktor untuk kami adik beradik.

Just now, during lunch hour I rushed to UMSC to see mum, my third sister and her husband plus my two younger bothers were also there. I feel so helpless not knowing what to do to ease my mum's pain. Am I a cruel daughter to doa pada Allah to take her to his side so that mum would not be in so much pain, since the doctor also cannot guarantee mum's full recovery. Ya Allah teruk ke aku ini sebagai seorang anak, hingga sanggup berfikir sebegitu. I feel so bad....

Right now as I'm writing this, my eldest and second sister, as is my cousin and his wife are all on their way to UMSC. My emotion is still going on a merry-go-round and to make it worse I just had a tiff with my younger brother just before leaving the hospital.....and that makes me feel so down! A truly trying time for the whole family and that I have no doubt of, as my brother said the other day, Allah sedang menguji kami semua dari segi kesabaran dan ketawakalan (I not too sure whether there is such a word in BM, tapi what the hack, guna aje lah, I'm murdering the language and I know it would not sit too well with purist of the BM language) dalam menghadapi semua ini. Kekuatan ikatan kekeluargaan kami jugak sedang diuji sekarang. Hopefully it will stand the test!

Hurrah!!!!!

2009-02-18T11:32:00.003+08:00

A big, big smile on my face now.... Why? Boss is now back in town, hahahahaha lalalalalala, I'm practically doing an invisible dance now, hohoho, if people could see it, then they would know how happy I'm that she's now back in town! I'm sooooooooo happpy, tak terkata betapa happynya diri ini. Lalalalalala tak payah lagi attend meetings on her behalf, ada la masa to buat keje lain yang perlu dibuat.

I don't have to cover for her now, she's now here to make sure that everyone has to toe the line, work wise I mean. Cos I know for a fact that when she was away, I tried to keep things in balance and that, I could bet, do not sit too well with some people..... They do not say it directly to my face, but...... I do get the vibes sent out by them. Well, that's life, you can't please everyone.

Myza, sawang - sawang kat sini, baru hari ni dapat bersihkan, before this tak sempat, kena siapkan budget la, KPI la and attend meetings memanjang, tapi now that boss is back boleh la kut kerap sikit singgah kat sini hei hei hei...... Now pun, boss is attending the budget meeting for 2010/2011 yang I planned for practically single-handedly, but I'm not whinning about doing it, cos when I showed it to my boss, the first day she came in, she was happy with it and did only minor adjustments to the budget before asking me to submit it to the Finance Unit. Anyway I see it as another learning curve in my life, maybe beneficial to me in the long run, who knows!

KPI/Budget

2009-02-05T19:21:00.002+08:00

Huh bosan, a tiring day for me and a long week to boot, non-stop meeting the past few days. Tomorrow I have another meeting to attend, taskforce for the Bridges Series, scheduled for April 22, about a month to work on the planning of the event. Knowing Dato', and I can bet that the taskforce will be put through the grinder, just to make sure that everything runs smoothly on the day of the event. Well! that's another music I'll have to face when the time comes.

As for now I am kept pretty busy with the drafting of the division's Budget for 2010 and 2011, plus the KPI for my division. I am done with the 2008 and 2009 KPIs but Dato wants to fine tune it lagi, so back to the drawing board la nampaknya. And I hate using Excel, the table is never friendly to me. Geram betul, never want to follow my command. I wonder how others managed to do it and come-up with nice print out of the reports on Excel, while mine will either be lop-sided or too small and the print will be finer still, even though I've tried all the suggestion given to me on how to make the print-out bigger and more pleasing to the eyes.

Huh! Penat giler....tapi penat-penat pun kena jugak buat nanti singa jumps on my back, tak ke haru nanti.... tak pasal luka hu hu hu hu

Internet o Internet

2009-01-28T16:14:00.002+08:00

Sedih sedih hari ni datang kerja dengan berkobar-kobarnya nak siap kan apa yang patut. Dalam hati siap boleh cakap tu, wah hari ni sampai awal boleh lah pulun apa yang patut sebelum masuk meeting and ngadap Dato', tapi jeng jeng jeng..... on aje computer, internet down, air-con pun not functioning. Hu hu hu hu sedih sedih, kurang sikit semangat.

La ni pun access internet in my block BELUM pulih sepenuhnya, taiko-taiko ICT still hard at work troubleshooting the problem. Ntah bila la nak pulih ni.... Ni pun duk merempat dekat Block C tumpang guna computer kawan nak check e-mail. Sambil-sambil tu jengok blog kejap, hei, hei, hei hei......siap boleh buat posting tu......

Ok gotta go now, my friend is breathing down my neck! Tuan empunya PC dah balik kat bilik dia, urgently wanting to use the PC, cos her boss is breathing down her neck about a report that she's supposed to submit before lunch. Okay, okay, nak berenti dah ni, last sentence, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOAN OF THE COMPUTER!!!!

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2009-01-26T16:36:00.004+08:00

To those celebrating Chinese New Year, be it those in the cyberworld or those that I know personally in and around me, I wish them SELAMAT TAHUN BARU CINA. Some says that I was born in the year of the iron rat and some says in the year of the ox. I'm no expert on this subject but just for the fun of it I read up on this in some of the books written on the subject of the Chinese horoscopes, just for the fun of it mind you. I don't really believe in it, but just for my own personal amusement. I don't think there's harm in it.....unless others find some bone of contention about my view on this, then I beg to differ and hope no hard feelings will come out of this.

Well, on the subject of whether I'm a rat or an ox, I'm still vague about it. But just to please myself and to suit what had been written in the books, I sometimes tend to go with my whims and fancies at the moment of my reading, especially if what is written in the book is favourable to me. Talk about perasan, this is a major dose of perasan.....big time!!!!

"GONG XI FA CAI / HAPPY NEW YEAR / SELAMAT TAHUN BARU CINA" TO EACH AND EVERYONE I KNOW

Hari Yang Tak Menentu

2009-01-24T14:44:00.003+08:00

Nape hari ni jadi begini.... Nape aku begini. Terok sangat ke aku ni.... Allah hanya pada mu tempat ku mengadu bagi la aku panduan dan hidayat mu untuk menghadapi semua ini.

Aku mohon pada Mu Ya Allah, bagi la aku kekuatan untuk menghadapai apa jua pun.

Merapu

2009-01-21T15:02:00.005+08:00

Mencuri masa untuk menaip di sini. These past few days things are a bit quiet on the homefront and at work. A nice break after all the craziness of November, December and early part of January. But over the weekend, Sunday to be precise, I had a wonderful time catching up with my old varsity mate in Putrajaya. It has been a while since we both parted ways to follow our own individual path, and we have not seen each other for about 13 years! Give or take one or two years. If I can rightly recollect, the last that we met was in Kelantan, when she was serving there with Suraya, another of our varsity mate. Back then she had those big rimmed spectacles on, and to think of it so did I. Well that was the height of fashion then! I used to get teased a lot about those big rimmed spectacles I used to wear, in the name of fashion mind you, by my nieces and nephews. The comments when they saw my photos would be, "amboi besaqnya spec!" followed by "nape dalam semua gambar, cik ni asyik tersengih aje, nampak gigi tu...." with everyone breaking into laughter. Tak pe lah, tu kira ok lagi tu, tapi bila dia orang mula cakap nape dulu cik kurus tapi sekarang dah debab, perit jugak rasanya, geram pun ada, tapi kenyataan, tak boleh la nak cakap apa...... except laugh with them..... hu hu hu hu

And Myza jangan marah, story kat sini pasal spec besar tu, and if I'm not mistaken, I also used to tease you a lot by mis-pronouncing your name. Mintak maaf banyak-banyak ye. Saja suka nyakat Myza. Now look at you, a wife, mother and I bet a damn (sorry for the language) good teacher to boot. But one thing is definite, weight wise you have not change much, masih kecik molek macam dulu..... apa rahsia tu, share la sikit..... tengah duk cuba kurang kan berat ni, tapi nampak gaya duk macam tu jugak, debab.... pagi tadi pun boss yang baru balik lepas cuti sebulan pun boleh cakap."eh, nape you nampak gemok sekarang?" Caught me of guard there, sampai no sassy remarks to utter, terdiam beb! Tapi kena ngaku la memang sekarang badan dah makin montel... Apa tak nya asyik makan aje tak kira masa. Makan, tidur, excercise kureng, so badan tu macam kena pump - pump la. Boleh dikatakan my second job sekarang ni is menternak lemak... hu hu hu hu. Bagi la petua Myza, dapat badan macam Myza kan bagus, kecik comel gitu.

Tambah in my line of job sekarang ni, bab - bab makan ni is part and parcel of it. Apa taknya bila ada courses to run, makan sampai 5 kali sehari tu tak mustahil. Tu tak termasuk lagi dengan event-event lain yang kena attend, penutup dia mesti ada makan-makan. And my resolution to stay away from the food will usually crumble and fly right out of the dining hall, selalunya it started with tak pe lah just nak rasa aje, after the first bite, a little devil will whisper in my ear, tak pe makan aje, esok boleh diet balik. Hah macam la I can resist the food the next day! Tapi selalunya mesti makan punya, guarantee!!!!! What with nampak kekawan makan sedap aje. Ha ha ha ha ha that is me, nak kurus tapi no will power to exercise and control makan. Sampai bila - bila pun nampaknya chek ni akan terus menternak lemak la gayanya...... hu hu hu

Aftermaths

2009-01-14T12:33:00.004+08:00

The past two three days ni asyik rasa letih aje.... agaknya kesan byk sangat bergerak to make a success of the event. Buat kerja pun everything in slow - mo aje hei hei hei.....penagan buat keje on overdrive.... hu hu hu hu hu

Tapi I appreciate the experience, because since joining the institute I have gained a lot more knowledge in certain areas and things that I'm sure I would not have got it from my old job... the good and the bad of it. But on reflection it does make my life so much richer. Syukur ke hadrat Allah......

Sigh of Relief

2009-01-12T17:30:00.010+08:00

Lega n lega tak tau macam mana nak cakap how lega I feel that the first big event lined-up for 2009 berjalan dengan lancarnya. Even though ada a slight glitch in the proceeding but it does not really mar the event much. Everyone was happy with it right from the PM, Foreign Minister, Secretary - General of MFA, his Deputies and my own Executive Chairman. Today masa post - mortem for the event, the Chairperson for the working committee, Head of Academic, Training & Research also said that we deserve the pat on the back for successfully pulling it off. Syukur ke hadrat Allah kerana memakburkan pemintaan supaya semua yang dirancang berjalan dengan lancar. Kelegaan itu lebih terasa bila everything that was assigned to me to do, to ensure the success of the event, I managed to do it to the satisfaction of everyone high up in the hierachy. Lega sesangat, if tak mesti dah kena tembak tadi masa post - mortem.......

And to answer Freg's question, "D" day tu is just a term I coined about the event sebab bila dah kena push to the limit and what with how things are on the homefront, terasa sangat la macam 'Doom's Day' gitu, umpamanya la because if things doesn't go smoothly as planned, heads are bound to roll, and among those rolling on the floor, would be my head.... I love my head too much to put it on the chopping block, so to say......hei hei hei hei

"D" Day and Down Memory Lane

2009-01-06T18:16:00.007+08:00

One more day to 'D' day - hu hu hu hu hu...... and two days already into the school year for 2009. I still can remember how busy it was on the first day of school, tambah lagi if you are the class teacher, mana nak collect school fees and duit buku and bermacam - macam duit lagi yang perlu di collect, masa ni la haru jadinya if all parents datang dengan duit besar, payahnya nak bagi balik duit baki tu.... at the end of the day panic semacam when the money in hand tak tally with the amount yang sepatutnya di collect, and that also after dikira berulang -ulang kali mind you.... and sometimes kena dig deep into my own pocket just to balance it out.... those were the days. Now I don't have to collect fees but still busy at the start of the new year, tapi with a different kind of busy...

'D' Day tinggal one more day and I feel like a top spinning at full speed trying to finish everything in time for the unveiling of the campus. Now makan pun tak sempat, asyik duk tekejar sana and tekejar sini....After all this madness is over I want to apply for cuti.... nak rest and Dato', please, please, please approve my application for cuti.... pretty please ye.......

2009

2009-01-01T17:42:00.003+08:00

Hello to all the inhabitants of the cyberworld.....

Nothing much to write just to wish SALAM MAAL HIJRAH AND HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009.... Hopefully the new year will bring with it more joy and happiness. Hopefully whatever we set out to do with our life in the new year akan diberkati oleh Allah.....

Still busy and because of this, I feel guilty as hell for not being able to pay more attention to my aging parents. Feel like such an ungrateful anak and selfish to boot....that's how I feel and I think my family also agrees with my view about myself...

2009, come mid - January, I'll be a year older compared to last year but perangai duk macam tu lagi, hai bila la nak berubah ni.......hu hu hu hu

I wish I could go back in time and undo all the mistakes yang telah dibuat.....macam la boleh...

2009/1430 - I welcome you and I hope that there won't be any major upheavel waiting for me..........

D day is Getting Nearer

2008-12-26T18:20:00.006+08:00

Well Myza... the answer to your question.....memang tengah busy sesangat now....feel like I am a yoyo, one day I'm up there in the sky and the next I'm down in the bowels of the earth....wuh tak kan la cam tu sekali.....tapi hakikatnya macam tu la....tetambah bila Dato' bising - bising.....masa tu la all the kepenatan bertambah manyfolds.....

Tapi that is how I feel, rasa macam tak cukup tangan nak siap kan everything that I'm supposed to siapkan. Feel like the plate is overflowing now.....2008 pun coming to an end.... a roller coaster ride for me, with some bright moments and some dark ones thrown in as well....... Right now I have a few more scripts on No 1 Wisma Putra to translate ( 2nd round of translation) and mind you from English into Bahasa, and I can tell you that it's not an easy job to do.... silap translate nanti the gist of the original won't be there. Macam minum teh yang tak cukup urmphnya.... Nak retain the urmph that is in the original la yang susah ni.....tapi saya yang menurut perintah, buat la sebaik yang boleh.

Hopefully after the launching, thinks will quieten down sikit before the tempo goes up again at the end of January 2009.

Ramblings

2008-12-20T18:51:00.003+08:00

Nothing much to write, but Alhamdullilah, mum is now out of the hospital and is getting stronger. But the doctor said that nothing much can be done about her heart, too many of the arteries are block and considering her age, it's not advisable even for her to have an operation. The doctor also said that whatever it is, the only thing that can be done is to stabilise her condition and tak boleh bagi dia buat keje-keje berat lagi. And I don't know whether the news about Pak Cik Man's death has been make known to mum. We (my eldest sis [the CEO of the family] and the rest of the family) decided to keep silent about it on the advice of the doctor, who don't want mum to have a relapse. I certainly for one do not want that! One thing I know for sure, is that, mum is not to stress herself out worrying about father. Setiap masalah tu ade solutionnya. Allah tu maha kaya.....Dia akan atur yang sebaik-baiknya untuk umatnya.

And on the workfront, everything is going full steam ahead for the launching. Penat jugak nih, I want to go on leave, but........ Dato' won't allow us to take leave before the event, unless it is absolutely neccessary.........penat gilos weh.......Tambah it's going to be a long break next week, what with Christmas and Awal Muharram back to back, almost. Can't wait for the event to be over so that I can go cuti-cuti Malaysia.......Hah, you wish, macam la tak tau, courses for 2009 will be up and running by the time the event is over......hu hu hu hu

Wow, talk about there's nothing much to write......tapi boleh pulak merapu sampai two paragraphs......hei hei hei hei

Life

2008-12-16T09:05:00.003+08:00

Late last night, the phone beeped and a text message came in bearing with it bad news. My uncle, my mum's youngest brother just passed away. After a hectic day of coping with work and juggling time to visit mum who was hospitalised again late in the morning, the news makes me think hard about life and 2008 in general. The news also make me feel more weary and tired then usual.

Today, I am still in a pensive mood, thinking how fragile life is, Allah can just take it away from you in the blink of an eye, so fast that you, the one left standing feels so numb....as if everything is a dream. Thinking of my uncle, who is still in his prime and my six young cousins, who still needs his love and guidance, I ache for them. I hope they will be well taken care of by their step- mum who also happens to be their late mother's younger sister. InsyaAllah....

As for me, my mum is also not well and the news make me wonder, how would it be if I am also face with the same situation, will it leave me stoney eyed, that people, especially my sisters and brothers would say that I'm heartless, selfish and ape-ape lagi lah...susah nak forsee benda-benda ni, bersabar dan berserah aje lah pada Allah, Dia yang lebih mengetahui.

Bak kata Myza, segala musibah yang mendatangi kita adalah untuk mendekatkan kita lagi dengan Allah. So kita sebagai hambaNya yang kerdil harus menghadapi ujian yang di beri ini dengan penuh ketabahan dan kesabaran. InsyaAllah, Allah akan sentiasa bersama kita.

Entah ler....

2008-12-13T21:03:00.002+08:00

Penat jugak lah ye nak jaga hati orang ni. Kita nampak the solution to the problem but if people refuse even to consider it, macam mana ye nak buat.

Penat rasanya bila dah macam ni, tak kan nak suruh aku berenti kerja plak.......... puas kan hati orang but what about my needs and wants....... Tak de yang ambik peduli...........

Bila aku cakap......, orang kata aku selfish pulak.......... ntah la.......... yang ape dia buat tu tak di consider as selfish ke...... Hish! tak tau la aku............

Sabar aje lah and banyak la sabar tu.............

Campus Launch

2008-12-11T14:03:00.004+08:00

Peningnya banyak yang perlu disettlekan before the year ends. This time around, December is not the time to laze and take stock of things that had been done through out the year. Masih lagi working at full steam. Hem...........penat jugak macam ni........

Dulu December was the month to unwind, rest and rejuvenate ourselves before the start of the new year and work starts to snowball balik. Tapi for 2008, nampaknya ianya hadir dalam mimpi aje, banyak pulak aktiviti yang kena buat.

The Executive Chairman and the Ketua Bahagian Akademik, Latihan dan Penyelidikan ni tak rasa penat ke asyik keje aje ni. Dia orang tak pe lah, buat mesyuarat, decide apa-apa projek yang nak dijalankan, kita jentera yang kat bawah ni la yang bersengam mata nak siapkan projek-projek tu. And both of them keep drumming in, that the event must start with a bang and close pun mesti with a louder bang, if tak nanti kena dengan the Minister.

Alahai apa nak kata......... kena la buat......... biar pun penat........... Kejap lagi pun ade meeting, pagi tadi pun meeting, esok pulak ade three meetings to attend. Bila la nak siapkan ape-ape yang diarahkan if asyik duk meeting memanjang nih! Tak pe, tak pe, boleh settlenya, nothing is impossible if we set our minds to do it....

Ye lah tu........hahahahahahahaha

Bosan

2008-12-09T16:13:00.002+08:00

Bila difikirkan I don't know why I am the way I am. Tak tau kenapa aku harus berperasaan begini.

2008 is coming to an end, a new year is dawning, usia ku makin bertambah tapi.... aku masih meniti hari seperti dulu..... masih lagi mencari diri ku...... masih belum mendapati atau masih mencari jawapan to the question: apa kah arah tuju hidup ku. Adakah aku akan terus hanyut dengan hidup ku seperti apa yang ku lalui sekarang.

Bila melihat kepada kawan-kawan di sekeliling ku, aku rasa so alone, as my circle of friends starts diminishing, each with their own lives to lead, playing their roles as husbands, wives, mothers and fathers. While I'm still here....waiting...... dan terus menanti, while I know that the time for waiting has passed. It seems as if time has stood still for me, while others had gone on mengikut ketentuan Allah untuk mereka. Mungkin juga ini ketentuan Allah untuk ku and aku menerimanya dengan penuh keredhaan.

Yes, 2008 is ending soon, a most eventful year for me, some bringing joy into my life and some bringing tears with it, but on reflection the good and the bad are balanced. I know Allah would not has bestowed it on me if Allah knows that I would not be able to handle it. Tapi ape-ape pun Alhamdullah dengan ape yang berlaku ianya banyak memberi pengajaran pada ku. What I know is, I have to be more sabar dalam menghadapi ape jua pun, jangan cepat mengelabah, take time to look at it and think thoroughly about everything before making the final decision. InsyaAllah, Allah akan sentiasa bersama ku dan memandu ku melakukan yang terbaik untuk semua. InsyaAllah.

Satu yang ku pinta, 2009 nanti, no more tears of sadness and insyaAllah if ditakdirkan tears akan mengalir, aku mohon kiranya, aku akan tabah menghadapinya.

2009, aku menunggu kehadiran mu.......

2008-12-08T14:25:00.002+08:00

Macam mana ye nak terangkan ape yang aku rasa. Susahnya nak buat orang faham...

Susah, susah, susah!!!!!!!! Geram, bengang, semua bercampur aduk.......

Tapi aku tahu aku kena banyak bersabar..............

I wish orang tu dapat la memahami walau sedikit apa yang ku rasai ini.....

Kadang-kadang terasa macam aku tersepit sangat and macam there is no way out. Pusing kat mana pun all I meet is another brick wall.

Sabar, sabar and terus sabar...........itu aje yang aku boleh buat!!!!

Salam buat semua

2008-12-08T10:46:00.003+08:00

Salam Aidil Adha buat semua. Pagi raya yang dingin... Malam sebelum raya, an eventful night, the whole family stayed up most of the night worrying whether mum would take the turn for the worse.

Her heart is getting weaker, but she refused to go to the hospital, today pun sama, masih duk tahap bertahan. Semua orang going around the house with gloomy faces.What a stark contrast to raya of last year.

I feel so helpless, tak tahu ape nak buat to ease my mum's worries and fears. I know that she fears that if she's not here anymore, what would happen to my father. I have no answers to that only Allah knows....and yang dapat ku buat ialah berdoa....

Tension......tapi semua kena pendam....

Raya Haji, Life

2008-12-07T12:04:00.010+08:00

Raya Haji this time around is quite sombre for me, 2008 has been quite an upheaval, with mum being hospitalised for heart attack and on the workfront banyak pertukaran yang berlaku, among it having to see one by one my close circle of friends slowly getting smaller and smaller by the day, with some who came in the same year as me , either has transferred out to be closer to their husbands or families or sudah naik pangkat. But that is the cycle of life and I wish them all the best in their lives and doakan yang mereka akan lebih bahagia berada bersama dengan insan yang mereka sayangi. For those yang naik pangkat, moga lebih successful lagi dalam kejaya masing-masing.

Talking of Hari Raya, another damp year, with rain falling at all time, and yang paling menyedihkan is the landslide that happened in Ampang two days before raya. Kesian bila difikirkan nasib the victims of the landslide, dah la kehilangan harta benda and not forgetting those yang lost their love ones in the incidents. Takziah ku hulurkan kepada mereka.

Last but no the least. "SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA TO ALL." Bunga kat sebelah ini ku berikan khas untuk semua insan yang telah hadir dalam hidup ku dan yang ku sayangi selalu.

Reflection

2008-12-04T09:02:00.008+08:00

Ai nampaknya mengantuk and rasa letih balik dari Lumut belum habis lagi.....Buat keje pun macam zombie aje.....tahap separa sedar. But the beauty of it, is that the work gets done. Hei hei hei tak pe lah, at least I don't get into hot soup about benda-benda ni and nobody is fuming down my neck asking whether keje yang di suruh buat tu dah siap ke belum.......

Hah! Tepat dan jitu tekaan ku about her not ending her contract kat sini. Now pun dah nampak she's wavering whether nak continue or tak working here. Anyway her tiff dengan the big gun tu pun over a small matter aje, just that both of them ade strong personalities, tu yang jadi macam tu. Tambah yang sorang lagi tu, prior to her retirement dah pernah be the one in command, so kiranya bila sorang lagi, lebih junior and tak berape ade finesse bila handling a much older person, said something and it doesn't go down too well with the older one, fireworks are bound to go flying in the air, walaupun bukan with a major bang......hei hei hei and ikan-ikan bilis yang kat bawah ni la yang kena tempiasnya. Nasib la kan, itu kan dah lumrah alam pekerjaan.......

Gotta to go... need to attend the opening for the international conference organised by the office. Mandatory, so best get going before your luck runs out and you do end up in hot soup!!!!!!!! Need to be careful semenjak dua menjak ni, cuaca asyik tak menentu aje.....Hopefully masa meeting esok, cuaca sunny la.....if tak, kena la berhati-hati, nanti tak pasai-pasai kena tembak berdas-das, walaupun bukan silap kita, tapi kena gak tempiasnya, adui....

Kepenatan 2

2008-12-01T16:00:00.006+08:00

Back from the Language Camp, despite my misgivings about going to Lumut, surprise, surprise, I ended up quite enjoying the thing hahahahahahahaha.... even though at first, things did not go as smoothly as was planned.

Before the journey, erm shall I write about it or just let it slide....... ah.....tulis aje lah bukannya ade orang yang interested pun sal benda-benda ni.... well, it was not a good start to the journey dengan one of the top gun erupting like a volcano quite early in the morning, and it was like a domino theory, with everything going haywire after that. And the gloominess continued with the rain pouring like cats and dogs throughout the journey...what a damper it was.

Nasib la program yang diaturkan untuk malam tu dapat dijalankan dengan jayanya walaupun my boss was in two minds as to whether nak carry out with what had been planned or not. That sort of sweeten up everybody's mood after such a lousy day and the looooong and tiring journey in the bus.

Anyway after all the hu ha, everyone seems to had a rollicking good old time in Lumut. We even had time to go shopping for ikan masin and all things connected with fish...hahahahaha

But today, everyone is feeling the aftermath of letting our hair down for two days. So many sleepy faces around. Guess everyone is still feeling tired, back from the camp and straight to work, with no break in between. What to do, we have to shoulder on walaupun penat.....no more volcanic eruption please, pretty please........

Yang menulis ni pun penat, otak pun blur aje and buat keje pun with eyes half-open. Can't wait for the time to clock out........

Penat.........nak tidurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............

Kepenatan

2008-11-28T11:19:00.003+08:00

A working weekend it seems, for me. Am of to Lumut, Perak to act as one of the facillitator of an English Language Camp the office is conducting for our support staff.
Heeeeeeeeeeem, to think of the long journey and the balancing act that needs to be carried out to ensure that everything goes smoothly as planned is soooooooooo tiring.
Bertambah-tambah rasa penatnya, compounded by the fact that I'm not too keen on going for this language camp thingy. Malas, and the malas is in caps mind you.......
Hah malas ke tak, still kena pegi, sebab boss pun ikut sama and she is so0000 into this language camp.
Personally, I think all her talks about not continuing with her contracts are just bullshit, she enjoys the money and the power that come with the territory, so why nak berenti. Alah her tiff with the top gun tu kejap aje, now pun I can see her wavering whether to go through with what she says or stay and continue to be my boss.
Hahahahaha but I think she will stay, and I will be the one going out from this place probably.....

Kebosanan

2008-11-24T13:15:00.004+08:00

Black Monday, not ready black la more of a blue black Monday, first day of the week, come to work with the full intention of getting some of the work that has been accumulating out of the way and as usual, things do not go the way I plan. Boringnya....

Hopefully by the next half of the day would bring some semblance of an order to the day and I would make some progress into the mountain of work piling up on my desk. Hahahahaha you wish! Knowing you, by the end of the day the pile of files would only be shifted fom one corner of your desk to the other end, and nothing else gets done...

.......And as usual you resolve to attack it with gusto on the next day or if need be bring some of the work home.... Hah same old promises that are never kept..... Bila la aku nak berubah ni.... hari dah makin senja patutnya dah 70% siap tapi.... hem entah la...kejap lagi ade meeting pulak...nowadays tak habis-habis meeting, tapi kerja duk takuk tu jugak... ok, ok timeout dulu, better go get myself a bite, perut pun dah berlagu....

Saja-saja

2008-11-21T13:26:00.013+08:00

Ha ha ha ha memblog la nampak aku sekarang ni. Let see how long it will last. Dua hari tiga hari or the rest of my life.... We shall see................

The past two days, quite traumatic for me and also make me take a longer look at myself. Terasa diri ni tersangat la kerdilnya....and terlalu asing bila aku comparekan myself to my sisters and brothers. Kecil teramat sangat. Ya Allah bagi lah aku kekuatan dan kesabaran untuk menghadapi apa jua yang akan aku tempohi dalam dunia ini sebelum aku di panggil untuk mengadap mu. Make me wonder whether I am seen as a selfish person in the eyes of others.......

blogging apa itu?

2008-11-21T12:27:00.002+08:00

My first try at blogging and my first post, hope I can maintain this momentum. Hahahaha

I wonder! biasa la aku bila dapt something new bukan main lagi berazamnya nak keep at it, but as usual it fizzles out before anything comes out of it. As my mum would say hangat-hangat tahi ayam dalam semua hal.